Author: Invisigoth7of9

E-Mail: cadetdru@hotmail.com

Website: http://geocities.com/phoenixforum

Category: crossover

Rating: PG-13

Summary: EFC-- second season-ish, back when it was good-- melds into LGM-verse.

Archive: anywhere

Disclaimers: I own nothing. Nothing.

Notes: Teotihucan is meant to be played in the background, repeatedly, while reading this. *g*

The phone in the Lone Gunmen's place rang. Frohike picked it up. Langly signaled when it was
all right to talk. "Hello?"
"This is AD Skinner... Mulder's missing, and Scully's pregnant," he blurted.
"Maybe there's a connection between the two things."
"Shut up Frohike," Langly said. He was listening through one of their comps.
"You don't understand. I saw Agent Mulder be taken by this... thing."
"Please be more vague. I almost understood that."
"Shut up Langly," Byers said.
"And Scully's pregnant? Huh. Were she and Mulder alone at any time?"
"Yes, but... that's impossible. She can't have kids."
"Yeah, I know. But she is. She's a miracle worker. Why did you call us?"
"I thought you should know."
"How did he get this number?" Byers asked. They had been too shocked by the news to think of
that.
Frohike repeated the question to Skinner. The federal agent hung up rather than answer them.
"That was weird."
"Somewhere, Fowley is spinning in her grave," Byers said. He shook his head sadly.

A group of high school sophomores took the shortcut between their school and the local hang.
This led directly though the cemetery. "This is creepy," one girl stammered. She was careful
not to step on any of the graves. She pulled at the cross dangling from her neck.
"We've come through here a million times," one of her friends said. "Deal, girl."
"That's not what's creepy. That grave is spinning!" the first girl explained. She pointed at
the stone marked "Diana Fowley." The mud over it was moving, like the coffin was turning
under the dirt. "Maybe we should tell someone."
"Like who? I'm so sure that the FBI has a department dedicated to weird stuff like this." The
group stood around it for a second. Then they ran.
The grave kept moving. It flung mud onto the year Diana had died, 1999.

"This is seriously weird."
"We know, Langly," Byers said flatly.
"This is impossible."
"We know, Frohike."
"Mulder is gone, Byers. Don't you have anything else to say?"
"How many times has he disappeared or been 'killed' or locked up in a psych ward?"
"Too many."
"WAY too many," Langly said.
"This is just like that. He'll show up, and be charged with some crime. Scully or Skinner or
us will find a loop-hole for him. Or an alibi." The phone rang again. "I'll get it." He
waited for the signal. "Hello?"
"Hey John, it's Marcus."
"Hey Deveraux," Byers said. It was one of their young hacker friends. This guy had a lot of
potential. "What's up?"
A beautiful wordless melody that began with the falling of rain began to play over the phone.
"What is that?" Langly asked. Byers shrugged, and gave him the phone..
"It's Teotihuacan by Noel Gallagher," Marcus said easily. "The CD was anonymously dropped off
at my place in DC. I thought I could come by, and let you guys check it out."
"We do have superior equipment," Langly said.
"Just you wait. I'm going to own you guys. You'll see. And I'm going to buy the place under
my apartment."
"Whatever. So you comign here or do we meet you somewhere?"
"I'll go there, man. Just don't blame me if I'm followed. I hit on this Marine chick last
week, and ever since then this suit has been tailing me. Think he's federal."
"Yeah, yeah. I believe you. See you, Marcus."
"Do we know anyone normal?" Byers asked.
"Guess not," Langly said. He replaced the phone on its hook. "Cool song though."

The beautiful song played thoughout the comp junkie's paradise. "So what's on the CD?" Marcus
asked. The tan young man was developing a slight goatee.
"Music. I'm guessing someone burned this. Where'd you really get it?" Frohike asked.
"The Marine chick."
"Does she have a name?" Langly asked.
"She wouldn't tell me," Marcus admitted. "So what's with you guys? You seem down."
"One of our friends is pregnant, and another's gone missing."
"Were they close?" Marcus asked devilishly.
"She can't have kids, and he's totally devoted to her."
"I don't even want to know, man."
"They're our government sources," Byers explained.
"You mean you actually HAVE sources? Whoa."
"Yes, we have sources. There's someone at the door," Langly said. The close-circuit TV showed
a dark young man in a blue suit. "Definitely a narc. No offense, Byers."
"We can't all pull off the tech support look. Or Marcus' rather unique wardrobe."
inner sanctum?"
"This is the guy who's been following you?"
"Yeah. I wanna have a few words with him."
"I bet I know the words," Langly joked. He unlocked the many locks. "Who are you and what do
you want?"
"HIM!"
"Oh-kay. You seem to have missed the first part of my question."
"I'm Ronald Sandoval. I'm a federal agent."
"Good for you, kid. You ever hear of Spooky Mulder?"
"Yes. How did you....?" Ronnie shrugged it off. "Where's my CD?"
"What CD?" Marcus lied.
"The one that girl gave you last Tuesday."
"Oh, that CD! I don't have it anymore. Sorry man."
"I know who you are, Deveraux, and I know where you live," Ronald said menacingly.
"I'm moving, and changing my name."
"May I suggest a nice warehouse?" Frohike said. "Those are always good."
"Yeah, but they always explode," Langly reminded him. "Uh, hey, Sandoval, did you ever have a
class with Dana Scully?"
"Yeah," Ronnie said, remembering fondly. He snapped out of it. "Why?"
"Oh, we know her."
Sandoval looked at them carefully. "You people know Agent Scully?"
"Very well, in fact. Is that so hard to believe?"
"Yes. It is. She's hardly even your species."
"Go sit on the couch, and think about what you just said."
Ronnie sullenly sat. "I need that CD, Deveraux."
"Only if you can tell me the name of the young woman who gave it to me."
"You don't know?" Ronnie smiled. "Good."
The phone rang. Langly got it this time. "Hello, the Lone Gunman speaking."
"What's with the name?" Sandoval asked.
"Remember JFK?"
"No. I wasn't alive then."
"Neither were we you little..."
"Easy, Frohike," Langly said. "Yes. All right. Bye... uh, that was Krycek."
"What's the rat want?"
"The disk. Apparently it belongs to Mulder's smoking friend."
"No way."
"Yes way."
"Uh, who are you guys talking about and how am I involved?" Marcus asked.
"An evil, evil, evil man."
"I'll stay here."
"Nuh-uh, kid. You're coming with us. Both of you."
"What? I-I can't. I have to report to my superior."
"Uh-huh. Say, Sandy, do you believe in aliens?"
"No. What kind of idiot would in this day and age?"
"When we meet Krycek, let's make him go first," Frohike suggested. The others nodded. "Okay,
everyone in the van."
"Van? Did he say van?" Ronnie asked. "No way."
"Get in the van, or I will call your superior," Marcus said evenly.

They arrived at the park in the van. "Don't see Krycek yet," Frohike said from the driver's
seat. "Think we should go pay a visit to Skinner?"
"Assistant Director Skinner?" Ronnie asked.
"Yeah. Another pal of ours. Let's give Alex a few more minutes."
"Do we have to do that?"
"Yes." They looked all around for the former agent.
"Lily Denner Marquette," Ronnie said suddenly.
"What are you babbling?" Marcus asked. He pushed at his colored glasses.
"The woman who gave you the CD is Lily Denner Marquette."
"Thank you so much for telling me NOW."
"You're welcome."
"Lily... I like it."
Frohike rolled his eyes. "Oh brother."
"See him yet?" Ronnie asked.
"NO."
"Sorry. Do you see him yet?"
"Dude, shut up. He'll be here when he gets here."
"Thanks for the prophesy."
"Prophesy? Hmm... I could be a prophet or a oracle. Sounds like a girl's name."
"How about an Augur?" Byers suggested.
"Augur. I like it."
"I hate it."
"No one cares if you like it, Sandoval. You don't count. You work for the government.
You...."
"Have a weapon." Augur stopped talking. "Thank you."
"There's Krycek." They jumped out of the van.
Byers held up the disk. "You brought it," the man said. He was in his early thirties. Brown
hair, pale skin, gray suit. He lit up a cigarette. "I knew you would."
"I don't think that's Krycek."
"Looks more like Jeff Spender."
"Isn't Spender dead?"
"Let's get back in the van."
"You read my mind, Sandy."
"I'm afraid you can't do that, gentlemen. The future needs you. If you get back in that van,
my past self will make a rather unfortunate mistake. You see, he thinks you are utterly
insignificant. While that might be true now, you will have an enormous impact on the future.
Especially Agent Sandoval and Mr. Deveraux." He had done his homework for this.
"Uh-huh. Why aren't we running?" Marcus asked.
"Because we're idiots," Ronnie said simply.
"I knew there had to be an explanation."
"Give me the disk, John." A large cerulean blue vortex opened behind the man. "For the sake
of humanity, give it to me."
"He's the smoking man," Byers said.
"But how...?"
"Time travel, I guess."
"That is only partly the reason why I stand before you a new man." "Okay, now can we run?"
"Yes." Ronnie and Marcus lunged for the relative safety of the van.
The stranger shook his head. "Hard to believe that they will be a crucial part of Earth's
Resistance force."
"Them? Those two people?" Langly asked incredulously. "Now I know you're lying."
"I wish it weren't two, but those... men are going to have a tremendous impact not just on
our own species...." He stopped. "Never mind."
"No, please continue."
"I am unable to continue. The CVI..." He paused again. "Anyway... Give me the disk."
"What do you mean, unable?"
"I can show you, if you'll just follow me through here." He gestured to the vortex.
"Don't do it!" Marcus called. He and Ronnie had found their back-bones in the van.
"Why not?"
"Because he's evil!"
"We don't know that for a fact...."
"Yes, we do. He was going to let Scully die."
"You're right. He is evil."
"Still... time travel is pretty cool," Marcus said grudgingly.
"That's right. Into the vortex, gentlemen. Time's a-wasting."
"NEVER say that again, and we'll go through."
The man flicked his ashes onto the ground. "Deal."
"Could you put that thing out already?" Marcus asked. He waved smoke away from his face.

The young smoker dropped his cigarette to the ground, and stamped it. "All right. Anything
else?"
"No, we're cool."
"Have fun," Ronnie added.
"You are coming too."
"No we're not."
"We can't. We have to find Lily."
"Yes! Lily! We have to find her and ask how she got that disk Byers has."
"Don't bother with her. She knows nothing."
"But I reed to ask her something vitally important."
"Her phone number is not vitally important," Ronnie snapped.
"It is to me."
"Gentlemen, the vortex is fading as we speak. Now you can either come through here, and help
save humanity, or let your species perish."
"Who died and made you Edgar Allen Poe?"
"My son."
"Charming." Marcus was the first one to go through. Ronnie reluctantly followed. Langly and
Frohike were next. Byers hesitated. He looked at the disk in his hand, and went through the
disappearing access. The smoking man was last. The vortex was gone. All that showed they had
been there was the van and the slowly dying emebers of his cigarette.
They came out in the Flat Planet Cafe, circa 2009. "Where are we?" Frohike asked.
"Heaven," Marcus said with a laugh. He looked around. "I could get used to this."
"Not quite Heaven," the smoking man said. He summoned a waitress. "Tell Augur that CGB is
here," he asked her. "He'll know what I mean." She nodded, and left.
"So where are we?"
"You don't recognize it? Understandable. It's gone through a few changes since you lived
upstairs.... So have you. I think you shaved your entire head except for a pony-tail." He lit
up another cancer stick, and breathed as deeply as he could.
"Whoa," Marcus said. "That guy is... me."
Augur walked up to the smoker. "What do you want?"
"To introduce you to my new friend. Augur, this is Marcus Deveraux..."
The older man blinked at his former self. "If this is another of your tricks..."
"Uh, is Lily here?" Marcus asked.
"It's not a trick. I actually remember this," Augur said, mostly to himself. "No, she's not
here. Byers, give me the disk."
"No."
"John Fitzgerald Byers, that disk is mine. This Smoking Idiot stole it from me."
"Karma, my boy."
"Whatever. That is crucial to the Liberation effort. You would not even begin to comprehend
the data on it."
"Try me," Byers said.
"For starters, your friend Mulder was right. Aliens are very real. They came a few years ago,
kind of changed everything. Not everyone was happy about the changes. Some liked them, some
didn't." He looked at Ronnie. "Don't even get me started on Sandoval...."
"All right... Byers?" Frohike and Langly looked over to their friend. He was still holding
onto the disk. "I think you can trust him."
"I don't trust anything any more," Byers said.
"Great, he's turned into Mulder," Frohike sighed.
"Better than going to all those conventions looking for Suzann Modeski."
"I know where she is," Augur said. Byers looked at him. "I can help you find her."
"Who are you talking about?" Marcus said. He was completely out of the loop.
"It doesn't matter. She's gone now."
"No, she's not, man. I can find her for you. For a small fee of course...." Byers looked at
the hacker. "Say, a hundred bucks. Free subscription to the Magic Bullet newsletter. Blink,
man. Do something."
"Free subscription if you find her."
"Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm still not giving you the disk." Byers put it in his coat pocket.
Augur shrugged. "Whatever. Just don't let him get it. He's trying to revive the Syndicate."
The smoking man smiled, and walked to a table in the back. "Glad the ghost is gone. You want
anything to drink? It's on the house."
"Okay. What does Lily drink?" Marcus asked. Ronnie groaned.
"Ginger ales usually."
"I'll take one of those. Uh, you met Lily after this?" Marcus asked.
Augur smiled bittersweetly. "I'd rather not talk about it. Let's just say I can sympathize
with Byers and Modeski."
The Lone Gunmen nodded. "That bad, huh?" Langly asked.
"Shut up, blondie."
"Sorry. Hey, did you ever find out how Scully got pregnant?"
Augur blinked at them. "What? Oh right, the fed with the kid. I have no idea, man."
"What about Mulder?"
"Sorry. That was a few years ago. I have more important problems."
"What kind of problems?" Frohike asked.
"Well... there's this one fed, real photogenic kind of guy, keeps busting in here, and
arresting my customers. He works for the aliens."
"Then you could use that against him," Langly said hopefully.
"No, everyone knows he works for the aliens." Augur shook his head. "Forget it. I shouldn't
be telling you guys anything. It could cause a temporal paradox."
"Those are cool," Marcus said.
"Just go sit at the bar and don't talk to anyone."
"Cool." The five of them walked over to the bar. "Nice glasses, by the way," Marcus called.
Augur waved him away.
Major Kincaid walked up to his friend. "Who was that?" Liam asked.
"Long story."
"Okay. Sandoval's on his way here."
"Of course he just HAD to come here tonight. With that CVI of his, he probably remembered the
whole thing," Augur muttered. "I have to get out of here."
"Why?"
"No reason. But I need that disk. I can't let CGB or Sandoval get it."
"Why?" Liam asked again.
"Because I don't trust either of them. They have that whole hidden agenda 'I'm the true hero'
thing going on."
"Why?"
"Stop asking me that!"
"I'm going to go over there. When you're ready to talk, see me."
"By the time I'm ready to talk about this, you'll be as old as you look." Augur sighed. His
shoulders drooped. "Okay, do you see that guy at the table by himself."
"Yeah."
"He's much older than he looks. He went through the Second Chances program. Made him
completely loyal to the Taelons. Or so he says. I don't believe him. Don't trust him as far
as I can throw him. He shot his own SON back in the nineties."
"Really?" Liam asked, completely amazed. He didn't think that even Sandoval would do that.
"Yeah, and he knew exactly what he was doing. Very messed up individual. Now this guy took a
CD of mine. He went back in time, and gave it to those guys." He directed Liam's gaze to the
Lone Gunmen, Marcus, and Ronnie. "And now they won't give it to me because they think that I
might be with him."
"Are you?"
"NO! His people end up in body bags nine out of ten times. It's almost never permanent. I
happen to like being alive and in one piece."

"How can it not be permanent?" Liam asked naively. "When you die, you die, right?"
"I don't know. It just... isn't. There's a different reason every time, but sometimes it
sticks. Like Diana Fowley."
"Who?"
"Never mind. It's before your time."
"Uh, everything is before my time."
Augur hung his head. "I know." He kept nervously glancing at the door. "Where are they?" The
doors flew open. Volunteers came racing inside the Cafe. "Right on time."
"This is a raid," Sandoval said flatly. He held his skrill high in the air.
"Thanks for the advance warning," Augur breathed.
"Where's the disk?" Sandoval aimed his skrill at the center of Augur's red shirt.
"Don't you remember?" Augur asked wearily.
Sandoval looked over to Ronnie. "Yes... I do...." He let himself go back to that memory with
the help,of his CVI. It was like he could see through Ronnie's eyes. He saw himself go back
to that memory. He opened his eyes quickly. "I remember. BYERS, give me the disk."
Sandoval aimed his skrill at Byers. "What is that?" Langly asked.
"Its name is Raven, and it is a skrill.
"And a skrill is what?"
"An incredibly powerful wepaon that could destroy everything in here."
"All right. We'll be leaving now. Augur, find her."
"You got it, man."
"No one is leaving, especially not him." Sandoval pointed to Byers with his skrill. "Now give
me the disk."
"Byers, are you nuts man?" Langly hissed. "Give him the CD already."
"All right." Byers took a CD from his pocket. He tossed to Sandoval's feet.
The agent picked it up. "We can leave now." The Volunteers backed away. "Thank you," Sandoval
smiled as he left.
"I cannot believe you let him do that," Liam said.
"Silence, foolish mortal." Langly said. "What'd you really give him?"
"Your Econoline Crush CD." Byers produced the real CD.
"HEY!" Langly protested.
"Deal with it. Now, why does everyone want this?"
"It has a few things on important people, a few schematics for various parts of the Lair,
transporter blue-prints, instructions on how to make a interdimensional shuttle, one of my
holograms...." Augur said. "You know, nothing big."
"I bet. We'll hold onto this for you." Langly took it from Byers.
"No. It's mine."
"But you gave it to us."
"That was in 2000. Before anything happened. Now it's 2009. We're talking about a literal

"We spent those nine years through that vortex thing," Frohike said. He took the CD from
Langly. "They don't count."
"Whatever. Give me my disk."
"How do we know you're really him?" They pointed to Marcus.
"Leave me out of this, man." Marcus held up his hands in surrender.
"You don't," Augur agreed. "But that doesn't necessarily mean you can't trust me."
"This time in English please?"
"You people are complete idiots," Ronnie said thoughtfully.
"Why do you say that, Mr. San-do-val?" Liam asked.
"I just saw that you still have the disk. Don't you think I'll remember something like that?"

"Yes, you will," Frohike said, looking at the disk in his hands. "Shut up."
"I have a solution, gentlemen." The young smoking man, a.k.a. YSM, walked over to the bar.
"Give me the disk."
"That's not the solution. That's the worst case scenario."
"Worst case scenario would be if that guy with the weird gray thing on his arm comes back,"
Marcus said. "No offense, Ronnie."
"None taken. He gives me the creeps." Ronnie took a sip of his ginger ale. "Bleh."
"Augur, the disk is rightfully mine. If it weren't for me...."
"A lot of federal agents would still be alive."
"You can't prove that."
"JFK would still be alive?" Frohike suggested.
"Please."
"Wait, this guy...." Marcus couldn't finish the thought. "Whoa."
"We think so at least."
"You guys thought you had a chance with Esther Nairn," Augur remind them.
"How did you know about her?"
"It was part of Langly's book. Chapter Three: people Fox Mulder introduced to us."
"I wrote a book?" Augur nodded. "Cool."
"It was published in early 2008. No one believed a single word of it."
"Cool."
"You were the laughingstock of the comp conventions."
"Cool."
"You're just sucking all the fun out of this."
"Cool."
Frohike hit Langly to make him stop saying cool. "Hey, if there's all this stuff on the disk,
why couldn't we see any of it?"
"Limited technology."
"Cool."
"Shut up or I'll cut your hair." Langly put a hand on his pony-tail. "While he wrote this
thing, what were Byers and I doing?"
Augur paled. "Uh... the same old thing."
"He's lying," the young smoker exhaled. He took another puff of slow suicide. "Byers died
about two years ago. Tragedy. I was at the memorial service."
"Go away, you angel of death!"
"Harsh words from a frustrated hacker."
"Excuse me," Byers interjected. "I died?"
"Well, they said you died."
"They? Which they?"
"The government."
"Why would the government want him dead?" Langly asked.
"Chapter Seven."
"Great. Just great.... I'm dead and there's nothing I can do."
"You're not dead yet," Ronnie said. "This doesn't have to happen. You could change the
future. It could set off a paradox."
"You're just scared by what you're going to be," Marcus chuckled mirthlessly.
"And you're not?"
"Hey, Augur, did I ever hook up with Lily?"
"Not exactly," Liam grinned. Augur sneered at him. "Good luck."
"What if there's only one outcome per universe though?" Ronnie asked.
"Dude, where do you come up with this?"
"Einstein's Twin Paradox: A New Interpretation by Dana Scully."
"A brilliant woman," the smoker said. "John, the disk...."
"No."
"Keeping it will not prolong your life."
"I don't care."
"Those Volunteers can come back here."
"Then they won't find me." Byers walked out the door. Langly and Frohike followed.
"Maybe we should go too," Ronnie said.
"What's the use? We'll just end up here in nine years anyway."
"Good point. Waitress!"

Byers, Langly, and Frohike walked down the sidewalk. They stopped abruptly. They looked up at
the awe-inspiring Taelon Embassy. "What is that?" Frohike exclaimed.
"A really cool high rise?"
"Don't think so. Let's check it out. Come on Byers." Byers didn't move. "BYERS!"
"I died."
"We know."
"We're sorry man."
"We'll do whatever we can to make sure it doesn't happen."
"I DIED!"
"Maybe you didn't really die."
"Maybe they brainwashed you and made you a...."
"Frohike, shut up." Byers started walking again.

Sandoval sighed. He hated his job. He hated the Embassy. He hated Kincaid for taking the day
off. He felt a twinge from his CVI. He didn't hate his job. He enjoyed working for the
Companions. He respected Major Kincaid. Now that was just going too far.
He sighed again. Foot-steps down the corridor. Someone was coming towards him. It didn't have
the zombie quality of a Volunteer. He ducked into an alcove.
"Allie allie oxen-free," Langly called.
"SHUT UP!"
"Do you two even know what stealth means?" Byers hissed.
"It's that thing that Mulder always makes us do with him when he wants to get some black ops
thing for Scully."
"Wonder if he ever got found."
"We'll ask Augur later," Byers said.
"So we're going back?"
"I guess."
"Cool. What are we doing here?"
"Looking for that Ron Sandoval guy."
"Think he'll know anything?"
"His younger self seemed to know Scully and Mulder. Maybe he's talked with them since 2000.
He could help us find them."
"So could Augur. If he turns out to be best buds with Krycek, I'm outta here."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, maybe he is the father of Scully's kid."
"Frohike, shut the...." Sandoval started to laugh at the Three Conspiracy Stooges. "Did you
hear that noise?"
"What noise? Byers, you're losing it."
"I know."
Sandoval decided it was time to reveal himself. He took a step out of the alcove. "Hello
gentlemen. You wanted to tell me that you didn't give me the disk?"
The Lone Gunmen jumped back. "Don't do that!"
"What do you want?"
"What is that thing thing on your arm?"
"An alien weapon."
"At least he's honest," Frohike muttered. Sandoval smiled for once. "I spoke too soon."
Langly and Byers silently nodded. "Damn."
"I know where Mulder is." Sandoval said the name like it was a bad word. "Spooky's still
living in the same apartment in Alexandria. Can I have the real disk?"
"No. Where is Agent Scully?"
"I don't know! Why does everyone keep..." He stopped. His CVI was pounding.
"Everyone keeps asking you where she is?" Byers said softly. Sandoval nodded. "Do you know
the smoking man?" Sandoval nodded again. "Do you work for him?"
"I work for Zo'or. I know what Zo'or is. A Taelon, one of the Companions."
"And the Cancer Man is something else entirely."
"That's what Mulder calls him," Sandoval said. "He hated it when the Smoking Man went through
the program. It cured him, gave him his life back. His was a private venture."
"These Taleons are the Colonists?"
Sandoval ignored the question. "Mulder's still looking for Samantha. He thinks her clones
have something to do with the Taelons. 'CGB' claims he saw one fo them when he went through."
"Why are you telling us all of this?"
"Because I need to tell someone. None of the people i work with would begin to understand
this. They don't know about Dream land or Roswell... About the X-files."
"The Taelons, I assume?"
"Mulder says they are the Greys."
"Do they look like that?"
"In solid form, yes."
"Solid form?" Frohike asked.
"Yes, they...." Footsteps again. A Taelon, from the sound of it. "Go! Now!" He pushed them
away. They were dumbstruck for a moment. They ran down the hall.
"Agent Sandoval," Da'an said.
"Yes Da'an?"
"Who were you talking to?"
"Talking, Da'an?"
"Never mind. Is Major Kincaid here?"
"Not yet. I'm sure he's handling something important."

Liam sat between Marcus and Ronnie. The two young men wanted to know more about Lily
Marquette. Augur was off in a corner, methodically destroying the smoker's choke sticks. "So
we're both going to work with her?" Marcus asked for the umpteenth time.
Liam groaned, also for the umpteenth time. "Yes, stop asking me already!"
"Sorry man." Marcus drank his ginger ale in sullen silence.
"So do I ever go out with her?" Ronnie asked.
Liam tried to think of the best way to put it. "Well, I saw you two come in here together a
couple of times." Marcus sneered. "But I think it was just business."
"How about me?" Marcus asked despite himself.
"Basically the same deal."
"That sucks," the two time travelers said after careful deliberation.
"Yes. It does. Bite me."
Meanwhile at the Quantico Academy, Agent Scully was finishing up her class. "All right, has
anyone ever seen any type of... paranormal phenomena?" One lone young woman raised her hand.
"Sammy?"
"Well, one time in high school, I was going through this cemetery. A grave was literally
spinning."
"Uh-huh. Do you remember anything else?" Scully prompted.
Sammy closed her eyes for dramatic effect. "The deceased was... Diana Fowley."
"Diana...." Scully grinned ear to ear. "I knew her."
"Oh-kay," Sammy said slowly. The class ended. Sammy stuck around. She liked to hear the
stories Agent Scully told about her days on the X-files. The odd relationship when Sammy's
copy of the Magic Bullet Newsletter had to be confiscated during class. "Hey, my band's got a
gig tonight."
"Someone actually hired the Grassy Knoll?" Scully teased.
"Yeah. It's at the Flat Planet Cafe, down at...."
"I know where it is. Friend of mine works there."
"Cool! Well, you probably know that they usually don't let people just come in and play, but
I dropped my bag and all my books fell out.... Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space,' that one by
that Langly dude, and some others like this one called 'Ruins.' Augur just hired me on the
spot. Isn't that so cool?"
"Totally," the professor smiled. They walked down the hallway together. "Sammy, why do you
want to be a federal agent?"
"My big brother was one. Before the accident." She pushed a strand of wavy brown hair out of
her eyes. "Can we not talk about it?"
"Of course." Scully had her own ideas about what Sammy really was after. She'd talk to Augur
about it later. She still couldn't believe that he was in charge of the Lone Gunmen's
operation now. She thought that he wasn't telling her. He had an aversion to FBI agents. From
bitter experience, most likely.
"Dr. Scully?" Sammy said. "You're not talking."
"Sorry. Just remembering something. So, um... how's Cassandra?" Sammy had an identical twin,
along with many other siblings. Scully had a hard time keeping them straight.
"Fine. I'll tell Cassia that you asked. You're like an idol to her. She's been taking all the
usual med. courses. Not sure which specialty she'll choose yet. Dad will be so happy to
finally have a doctor in the family. He has a few health problems. Had, I mean." Sammy
grinned sheepishly. "I'll be quiet now.
"Had?"
"Uh, I'm not supposed to talk about it."
"All right, Ms. Smith. Let's go to the Cafe."

When they got to the Flat Planet, Cassia was sitting with the YSM. Scully was a more than a
little surprised at this. "There's my dad," Sammy said happily.
"That's your dad?"
"He's older than he looks."
"I bet he is."
"Agent Scully, Agent Scully!" Ronnie said.
"Did I go through a time warp or something?" Scully said, looking between the smoker and the
way too eager agent. "Or fall into the Twilight Zone?"
"Welcome to my world. Doesn't it suck?" Augur asked.
"I'm so glad you trust me with all of this." She looked around the Cafe.
"Trust no one."
"Thanks Mulder. so anyone interesting come in, besides... them?"
The Lone Gunmen approached. "Look behind you, Dana."
She turned around. "Hey Scully," Frohike said.
"John!" She hugged Byers tightly.
"Hey Scully," Frohike said again.
"I thought you were dead," she said. She practically had tears in her eyes.
"Hey Scully," Frohike said again. "Guess what? We just time-traveled here. Byers really is
dead."
Langly hit him upside the head. "Scully... Scully... Dana.... HEY, person that Mulder is in
love with!"
That got her attention. "What?!" Their words sunk in. "You time traveled? How?"
"As always, it goes back to the nice man with the cigarettes," Frohike quipped.
"Yeah, follow the trail of smoke and lung cancer."
"Uh, Agent Scully, we're about to go on stage," Sammy said.
"I'll make sure Agent Scully gets a good seat, Samantha."
"Samantha..." Frohike looked at the others. "You pondering what I'm pondering?
"I think so, Brain," Langly started.
Byers interrupted. "Samantha... she's a clone of Mulder's sister. Both girls are."
"No, really?" Scully asked sarcastically. "CGB, let's have a little talk outside."
"No." He blew a smoke ring at her. Scully automatically reached for her gun. Ronnie stopped
her.

"Who are those girls?" Scully asked, nodding towards Cassia and Sammy. "I mean who did they
come from. I know they claim to be Cassandra and Samantha Smith, but...."
"They're clones of the original Samantha Mulder. Just some of the many. The Taelons have
quite a few working for them. Very productive."
"Why do they think you're their father?"
"Because I am, dear girl."
She kept one hand on her holster. "I see. Why shouldn't I use this on you?"
"You should." His CVI hit him. "You should not. I must continue my work for the Taelons."
"RIGHT!" Augur started laughing. The smoker glared at the hacker. "Excuse me, I have to...
announce the band. What's their name again?"
"The Grassy Knoll."
"And who thought of this?"
"I did," the smoking man smiled.
"Goodbye," Augur said quickly. He hurried over to the musicians.
"And one more thing," Scully said. "How did you get the Lone Gunmen here?"
"I asked them nicely."
"No, I mean physically. What kind of temporal exclusion device did you use? How did it work?
Did you have to do any preparations to the central nervous system? Was it a Taelon project,
or just the Syndicate's doing? Or was it solely your idea with stolen tech?"
The smoker took a long drag, and considered her many questions. "I prefer to think of it as
borrowing, Agent Scully. I gave the best years of my life to these people. And I'm doing it
again."
"Uh-huh," Byers nodded. He pulled Scully aside. "What happened to Mulder?"
"Which time? I'm sorry, but I don't know when you guys are from."
"Mid 2000," Frohike said. "Skinner said you were pregnant, and Mulder had been taken by
aliens or something."
"Oh."
"Well?" Langly prompted.
"It would pollute the time-line if I tell you any of that."

The Lone Gunmen groaned. "The time line is polluted by us being here, Red," Frohike pointed
out.
"Still, I can't."
"Fine. Don't tell us. See if we care."
"Ladies and Gentlemen, The Grassy Knoll," Augur announced.
"Can you go over there so I can hear my daughters?" the smoking man condescendingly asked.
"They are not your daughters," Scully said. She closed her eyes, and nodded.
"Thank you Dana."
"Ignore him," Ronnie said. They walked over to the bar as the band began to play.

Scully sat at the bar. Ronnie, Marcus, and the Lone Gunmen crowded around her. "Hey, I'd like
a little oxygen, fellas." They spread out. "Thank you." Liam sat next to her. "You're Major
Kincaid aren't you? So Augur was right, you are part of the Resistance? I knew it. No one
could be that clean."
"Do I know you?" he asked, just a tad belligerently. Any friend of Ronnie and Marcus ticked
him off.
"Doctor Dana Scully." His jaw dropped. "I see you've heard of me."
"Not exactly. You taught my father."
Scully's jaw fell this time. "Your father? But you can't be... he.... Am I really that old?"
"It's complicated. I'm really only two years old," Liam said in a stage whisper. Ronnie and
Marcus fortunately did not hear. They were staring at the band, who was playing
"Teotihuacan."

"Two years old?" Scully asked in the same whisper. "That can't be."
"You'd think so, wouldn't you, Scully?" Liam said with a devastating smile. "See, I'm an
alien..." The Lone Gunmen leaned in for a better listen. "Uh, we should talk about this some
other time."
"I understand, Major. Or I'm trying to." She ordered a drink.
"So whose kid was it?" Frohike abruptly asked the enigmatic Scully.
"First of all, I don't see how it's any of your concern. Secondly, it would pollute the
time-line, and that's not a risk that I am willing to take." She looked at Ronnie and Marcus.
"Augur seems to have other ideas, but that's his problem." Her global buzzed. "Excuse me, I
have to take this. Scully here."
The Agent Sandoval was on her screen. "We need to talk. Get a booth in the back. Lose the
hackers. I found a Taelon experiment that might pique you interest."
"It doesn't. I don't care about the Taelons."
"It's a cloning of Mulder."
"Get here ASAFP."
"I thought you didn't care," Sandoval said with a tight smile. Scully hung up.
"So what did the new Rat-boy have to say?" Langly asked.
Scully decided to lighten the mood. "He proposed to me."
"WHAT?!?" Frohike exclaimed. He was a little protective of the red-headed agent.
"Kidding! Sorry, I think some of Mulder's humor rubbed off onto me." She sighed.

Frohike reached out to Scully's shoulder. "There there."
"I'll be okay." Scully's global buzzed again. "Hello?"
A slightly older Langly looked back at her. "Hey, where are you? Never mind, ran a trace.
I'll meet you at the Cafe in about ten minutes, okay?"
"Okay. Bye." She hung up. "Everything's going to hit the fan in about ten minutes. We might
want to warn Augur before someone comes in with a warrant."
"I'm on it," Liam said. He walked over to the almost bald entrepeneur.
The Lone Gunmen stayed by Scully's side. "Twenty years, and you still have that pony-tail,"
Frohike snorted.
"I'm dead?" Byers asked Scully.
She met his eyes. "I'm afraid so, John." Her global buzzed again. "WHAT?"
"Nice to hear your voice too," Fox Mulder said. Scully's face softened. "I got a call from
Langly. I think it was Langly. He didn't talk long. Apologized for the book though. Where's
the Flat Planet Cafe?"
"It's Augur's place."
"Uh-huh. What's this mysterious disk?"
"It's complicated," Byers said automatically.
"That sounded like John," Mulder said, a little bit of confusion creeping into his normally
flat voice.

"It is. He's here. They all are." Scully smiled sardonically. The Grassy Knoll finished
playing. "I have to go."
"Why?" Mulder said with the tiniest of pouts.
"Cancer man's about to kill Ronnie for looking at his daughter, your sister."
Mulder tried to follow. "Whose daughter?"
"Exactly. Uh, the smoking man's, I think. Her name's Samantha. Or Cassandra. They look the
same."
Mulder grinned. "Uh-huh. I'll be down in twenty minutes. Bye Dana."
"Bye Fox." Scully hung up. The Lone Gunmen were still waiting for information to fall into
their laps. "Ask Mulder and Langly when they get here, okay?"
"But we don't trust them," Frohike said. "We trust you."
"Yeah," Langly agreed. "Wait a sec....
The smoking man had given Ronnie a stern lecture that sent the green agent running. "John,
the disk!"
"NO! Don't do it!" a man in a suit said.
"Dude, another suit," Frohike grumbled. He gave the clean-cut new-comer a second look.
"LANGLY?"
"Yeah, hey," the older Langly said. "John, give me the disk."
"Whoa, dude, you don't look anything like on that..." Frohike paused.
"Global," Scully supplied. She looked around for Augur or Major Kincaid or anyone who could
provide a distraction from what was about to happen. "You know he never liked his image being
on satellite."
Augur walked over to the knot at the bar. "Spread out. You're ruining business."
"Hey Marcus," the oldr Langly said snidely. That's when Sandoval stormed in. This time with
warrants, skrills, Suzanne Modeski, Alex Krycek, Marita Corruvabias, and Fox Mulder. "Oh
man...."

Langly, Frohike, and Byers were shoved into an interrogation room by Sandoval. He was
followed into the room by Zo'or, the smoker, and the elder Langly. "John Byers, Melvin
Frohike, and Ringo Langly," Sandoval recited, shooting a glance at the others.
"I speak for us all when I say: BITE ME, alien-boy," Frohike said angrily.
"Leave us alone with them," the older Langly said. "We can handle them, Zo'or."
"Do not disappoint me again, Langly," Zo'or said sternly. Zo'or and the smoker left.
"I'll go question Dr. Scully and Mr. Mulder," Sandoval said with a wicked half-smile.
The elder Langly nodded. "Leave," he murmured when the coast was clear. "Scully and Mulder
are in the next room. Augur, Ronnie, and Marcus are with them. You'll have no problem once I
get Sandoval out of the way. The disk you have, John, don't let them take it. What did Augur
say..." The elder Langly let his CVI help him remember: "'A few schematics for various parts
of the Lair, transporter blue-prints, instructions on how to make a interdimensional shuttle,
one of my holograms.' The Taelons get that, the Resistance is dead. Humanity is doomed. If
Sandoval or CSM get it, everyone's screwed."
"So how'd the CSM get in the first place, wise guy?" the Langly from 2000 asked.
"The memorial!" He took a deep breath. His ear was bleeding. "Just... go! I'll take care of
Sandoval. They gave me this cool skrill." He rolled up his shirt sleeve to show it. "I named
it Gandalf."
"I'm not surprised," Byers said blandly. "We'll go!"

They ran out of the room. Directly into Major Kincaid. "First those clones, now you people,"
Liam moaned.
"Get out of my way so I can save the fair Scully," Frohike barked. Liam hesitated for a
moment.
"Kincaid, distract Sandoval and the others," the elder Langly said. "I'll help our friends
escape."
"But your CVI..." Liam began.
"I am doing this for the Taelons!" the elder man explained. His ear began to bleed. "Not
again..."
Kincaid stood completely still. "Okay, now you've lost me."
"GO!" Byers yelled. He pushed Liam into the other interrogation room.
"Yes, Major Kincaid?" Sandoval said. He turned his back, allowing Mulder, Scully, and the
rest to make their hasty exit. "Do you want something?"
"You let them go," Liam said softly.
"Yes."
"B-but what about the Taelons?"
"I am doing this for the Taelons!"
"Is that programmed into the CVI or what?"
"Major Kincaid, I suggest you follow the fugitives and end this pointless conversation."

Liam blinked repeatedly. "Oh... Okay. I'll follow them." He walked out in a daze. He was
beginning to realize that NO one was working for who he thought they were. No one's alliances
were unquestionable. He could trust no one, to coin a phrase. It was a little much for him to
handle.
He caught up with them in the hallway. "You do know who you're going to have to call for a
ride outta here," the suited Langly told Scully. She groaned. "Come on, he adores you."
"I am aware of this!"
"So what's the problem?" the suit continued.
"Exactly who is this guy?" Frohike asked.
Scully mumbled something as she got out her global. "I didn't quite catch that," John
prompted. She sneered. "Ah, I see."
"Really?" Mulder asked.
"No. I'd just like to say that with conviction for once."
"I have to follow you people," Liam said.
"Good for you," Scully beamed. "Pick up, pick up, pick up.... Hey! I kind of need to be
bailed out. It's the time travel thing. Yeah, he's here. No, I'm not going to leave Mulder
with the Taelons!"
"Give me the global," Mulder said with a strained smile.
"No," Scully ordered. "Not you, him. Okay. Okay. See you in a few." She shut off the
communicator. "He's coming by in the van."
"Who si this guy anyways?" Marcus asked.
"Three guesses, Junior," Augur said.

"Yeah, and the first two guesses don't count," Mulder said under his breath. Frohike looked
at him strangely. "Hey, I didn't call him.
"We gotta leave now," the younger, disheveled Langly said. He'd been looking down the
hallway. "Sandoval's coming with that blue guy and the cigarette smoking man."
"Shaddap."
"Bite me."
"No thanks, InvisiGoth."
"Look, should't we LEAVE the federal building?" Marcus cut in.
"But we're trying to find Suzann Modeski."
"She's dead," Augur said when they got outside on the pavement.
"Um, yeah, we just faked it so she could live."
They picked a direction, and started walking. "Oh," Marcus nodded. He shrugged to Ronnie.
"When do we leave this asylum, go home, grow up, and come back?"
"Soon, I hope. I want to call Lily," Ronnie said back.
"Over my dead body."
"Okay," Ronnie smiled. Liam shuddered. He actually remembered this form Sandoval's point of
view. "What's with him?"
"He's a two-year-old alien," Scully smiled. "WHERE IS HE?"
"I don't know, don't yell at me because your boyfriend's not here yet," Mulder said, moving
out of her reach. "Augur old pal, can I use you as a human shield?"
"No. I'm still paying for this shirt. And if feds raid my place one more time, I'll help her
kick your..."
"Hey, it's him!" Scully interjected, saving Mulder from a viscous attack.

Byers looked at the van. "No, no, no. That's Frohike."
"Who do you think she called?" Augur asked. Frohike grinned hopefully. "He's not REALLY her
boyfriend. It's just puppy love. You really think that Mulder would LET her date??"
"No!" the younger Langly groaned. "Man, isn't there anyone else? Like Krycek? What's he been
doing? Maybe he could help us."
"Hey, punk, shut up," Frohike said. "At least I didn't sell out."
Scully opened the door. "And they say chivalry is dead... GET IN!"
"Yes ma'am." Marcus and Ronnie jumped in, followed by their more sedate and paranoid elders.
"I just got a wicked sense of deja vu."
"So did I," Augur said.
"I don't get it," Mulder said.
"We all know that, now sit," Scully commanded. "Thanks for picking us up, Frohike. I owe you
one."
"Just remember that," the driver smiled. The 2000-LGM groaned collectively. "Shut up."
"Sixteen years and still nothing?" the elder Langly laughed.
"Shut up, Ringo, or you can't ride."
"Drive, my good man."

Frohike muttered incoherently as they pulled out from the building. Sandoval and the Rest
came out too late to stop them. "Oh man, I'm going to be SO dead," Liam moaned. The driver
glanced at him. "Major Liam Kincaid, former Companion Protector."
"He's an alien," Scully explained.
"Do you have to tell that to EVERY one?" Liam asked. He was sitting away from the rest.
"Liam, breathe, man," Augur reassured him. "No one would believe these people even if they
DID tell anyone. I mean it. Not a soul."
"We wouldn't even believe it," Byers added.
"I don't believe it," the younger Langly said.
"I'm glad," Liam said.
"We're being followed," the driver said.
"Who?"
"Sandoval and the cancer-man."
"Uh... are they on our side?" Ronnie asked.
"Kid, we don't even know if you're on our side. Byers, don't give them the CD."
"I wasn't planning on it."
"Good." Frohike braked suddenly, across the street from the Flat Planet Cafe. "This is your
stop." They jumped out. He sped off, the tires screeching.
The Cafe was basically deserted when the rag-tag group of paranoid time-travelers and future
friends walked inside the door. Marita, Suzann Modeski, and Krycek were trying to sit on the
dragon couches. The Flatliners-- who were determined to stay no matter what-- pushed them
away. "I don't care if you DO know Mulder, we earned this!" a tall brunette cried. She had a
skrill on each arm.
"CD!" Augur said warningly. "Don't tick off the nice federal agents. CD, go home."
"Oh fine..." she grumbled, getting her coat. "Just you wait. I'll turn this into a story.
Then you'll be sorry."

"Whatever," Augur sighed. The writers run amuk in his place.
"Hey, don't I know you from the mother-ship?" Liam asked CD.
"Look at the time. I have to go," she smiled sheepishly. She ran out the door, past the
smoking man and Agent Sandoval. She took CSM's cigarette as she ran. "TAXI!"
"Who was that?" Frohike asked, confused.
"CD. She hangs out here a lot. Okay, guys, you gotta go now," Augur told the rest of the
Flatliners. The reluctantly gave up their precious spots on the dragon couches to leave.
"You'd think a raid would scare 'em off, but no luck. They pay pretty good though."
"You have some addictive things on tap," Scully shrugged. "Makes sense that your regulars are
so loyal." Augur shrugged. "Can I have a mocha latte?"
"You got a valid cash card?" Augur asked. Scully frowned. Augur held out his hand. Scully
slapped the card into it. "Thanks." He made her caffeine-laden drink.
"What did CD mean she'll turn it into a story?" Ronnie asked with that paranoid tone that
Mulder had made popular.
"Those stories are fan-fics. Disclaimer plus fake name plus no money equals no law-suit."
"What's the point if there's no money?" Marcus asked.
"Yeah, you go get CD and ask her why she writes. Hope you weren't planning on going home any
time soon," Augur laughed. "You'll NEVER get a straight answer on why a writer writes or
where they get their ideas."
"Now we have to get you guys back," the suit-Langly said. "Hey Sandoval, any ideas?"
The agent glanced at the smoking man. "I don't know what you're talking about."
The (young, for those of you who have gotten lost) CSM smiled as he lit up another suicide
stick. "I'd help, but ever since I went through that program that added YEARS to my life....
I can't follow my own agenda."
Liam rolled his eyes. "What are we going to do with them?! We have to do something."
"I've got an idea or three," Krycek said with a sinister smile.
"Whoa. You have not aged well..." Frohike observed. Langly and Byers elbowed him in the ribs.
The elder Langly pulled back his sleeve, allowing Gandalf the skrill to breathe. He aimed it
at Krycek's throat. "You're not going to shoot them, alien-man."
Krycek put his hands at his side. "Oh, and I suppose your CVI and skrill are so human? What
about Mulder and Scully?"

Scully just had to interrupt. "It's never been proven that our experiences were connected
with extraterrestial..."
"WHAT?" Mulder laughed. "Scully, aliens have landed!"

the Roswell crash."
"I suppose it's just a big coincidence that aliens DID land, and revealed it's not for the
first time?"
Augur took a big step away from them. "YES! It's only a coincidence, Mulder."
"Excuse me, this isn't about you," Suzann Modeski said. "It's about the disk John has."
Everyone's attention turned to Byers. "Give them the disk," Suzann pleaded.
"Don't listen to her, Byers," the elder Langly said. "She's a clone of the real Suzann,
engineered by the Taelons to GET the disk."
"He's the clone!" Suzann hissed. "Why would LANGLY join a government program? One that
requires a device inserted in his brain, coiled up like some kind of mutant bee stinger stuck
inside his head..."
"BEES?!" Scully screamed. "W-wh-where are the bees?"
"There aren't any bees. Suzann was just making a point," Mulder reassured his former partner.
"Sorry," Suzann said. "John, he's not the Langly you knew."
"You say that like it's a bad thing," Frohike laughed.
"Excuse us." Byers pulled Frohike, Langly, Marcus, and Ronnie away from the rest. "They're
all completely out of their minds. But... what if Suzann's right?"
"What if my double's right?" Langly returned. "What if Modeski or whatever her name is now is
really the clone? Think about it. That makes more sense."
"Maybe that's just what they want us to think."
Byers groaned. "There must be more to this disk then Augur let on."
"Actually, that sounded like a lot to me," Ronnie said. He was ignored.
"What else could there be?"
"I don't know, but doesn't this all seem a little much for one lousy disk? They could have
just taken it from Augur. Instead they bring the five of us forward in time. This was too
carefully planned out. They must want to change something. Change our futures, their past."
"Yeah," Marcus agreed. "Maybe that smoking dude doesn't want to join the Taelons."
"They're keeping him alive."
"Yeah, you should have seen what he looked like before."

Marcus ignored their commentary. "Maybe he doesn't like having to follow their agenda instead
of his own."
"Kid's got a point."
"Unfortunately," Ronnie said. "Does it really matter which is the clone? What if neither are?
Did you think of that? Look, you can't trust either, so don't even try."
"Trust no one," Mulder interjected.
"Mulder, you should really stop telling people that," Scully said.
"Ignore the feds," Ronnie said. "Which one's the clone already?"
"The chick."
"Suzann is not a clone," Byers said.
"Sure she is," Frohike said. They glared at one another.
"Then my future self is the clone?" Langly asked. "That actually makes sense."
"Yeah, it does."
"So it can't be him."
"WHY NOT?" Frohike groaned.
"Haven't you been paying attention all these years? If something aobut the syndicate or the
aliens or anything makes sense, it's probably just propaganda," Byers said. He took off his
glasses and cleaned them. "And, as much as I hate to admit it; it's much more possible that
they- whoever 'they' are- could have gotten Suzann's DNA. She worked for the government,
remember?"
"Okay, okay, so how do we test them?" Langly asked.
Byers didn't answer. He moved back to the group of waiting people. "Suzann... what happened
in Vegas?"
"Ooh, good one," Scully commented. Krycek sneered at her.
"Uh, you saved me."
"How?" Marcus asked.
She didn't look at them. "You kept the assassian from shooting me."
"Who was the assassian, Suzann?"
"Um.... Frohike?"
"WRONG!" Frohike crowed.
"I know, um, I mean, uh..."
"Sorry. You lose. You're a clone."
"Not exactly," she said. She morphed into Mulder, Krycek, and Skinner before turning back to
Modeski.
The smoking man puffed. "I suggest we run."
"No... time travellers, go," Scully said. "Go back. Spender, whatever you are, take them
back."
"They haven't fulfilled my plan yet." In response Scully, Mulder, and Krycek reached for
their holsters. The elder Langly pointed his skrill at the man's chest. "On the other hand,
who am I to stand in the way of destiny?"

"Indeed," Marita yawned. She was bored with the situation. "Krycek, buy me a drink."
"No."
"I got you out of prison!"
"Can you put him back?" Mulder asked.
"Mulder, how'd you like a drink?" Krycek offered. Marita growled at the Russian spy. "What?"
"This is our cue to leave." The smoking man led the time travellers out. They were blocked by
a crowd of Spherites and FlatLiners. CD had contacted everyone who wanted to meet the X-files
people. She'd even sent some Volunteers. "I will blue-tank that girl," the smoking man
grumbled. He stamped out his cigarette.
"It's Jeff Spender!" one fanfic writer called out. He shook his head.
"Excuse me," Langly said, "but could you get out of our way? We're running from Alex Kry...."
The writers stampeded into the cafe, screaming "rat-boy!" "--cek," Langly finished. "What was
that?!"
"We don't have time for that."
"Yes, we do. As long as you send us back where we started, we'll be fine."
"You don't know how time travel works."
"I suppose you do?" Frohike laughed. A few stray spherites ran past. "Scary people."
The smoking man lit up another cigarette. Mirager hit it out of his hand on the way to the
door. "Thanks. All we have to do is take control of a portal, and manipulate it to send you
back. Or you give me the disk, and we'll do it the easy way." He puffed at them.
"Where's a portal?" Byers asked.
The portal was guarded by two men. They were half asleep. One man heard the approaching
footsteps. "Who goes there?" he called. He saw the smoker. "Oh, it's just you, Mr. Spender."
"Go away."
"Okay." The men walked outside.
"That was weird," Ronnie said.
"Whatever," Marcus shrugged. "Let's fire it up!"

Marcus looked at the portal. "I'll take care of it, son," the smoker said.
"Um... but none of us trust you," Ronnie said.
"That's your problem," Spender said cryptically.
"Yes, it is. Back away from the console," Langly said.
"Or what? You strangle me with your hair-tie?" Byers got between the CSM and Langly.
"Besides, I'm the least of your problems. Krycek's coming."
"How do you know?"
"The girl sent him. CD. Dru. Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Fo
Besca the third, or whatever the hell her name is. She works for them you know. The Taelons.
And the Resistance. And the Jardians. A girl after my own heart if she wasn't so damn
annoying. She's always thinking of bizarre stories..."
Byers had to interrupt. "Tell me, did they burn a lrge portion of your brain putting your CVI
in?"
"Don't be ridiculous," Krycek said. He waslked towards the portal, gun aimed at the young
smoker. "He never had a brain to begin with, Johnny boy."
"Freeze, rat-boy!" CD said, appearing behind him. She aimed her skrill at his back.
"Is this some kind of people in black convention?" Marcus muttered.
"Dude, I'm being dramatic!" CD groaned. "Comrade Krycek, drop the gun, and put your hands
behind your head where I can see them." He obeyed. "Mirager, take him away." The Spherite did
so more than willingly.
The CSM kept tapping at the console. "Damn... Dru, be a doll, and lend me a hand."
"Can't. My boss told me not to."
"Zo'or?"
"Yeah. Um, have you seen Anastatsia? I need to talk to her about Collectors."

CD looked around for the writer. The other Spherites had already left with Krycek. He was a
fan magnet. "They took off with the rat." Spender breathed in deeply, through his teeth.
"This is not the time for your infantile aspirations to be a writer, Drusilla. You can be
useful for once."
CD smiled sweetly, revealing slighty pointy teeth. "You're judging me? You shot your own
son!"
"Exactly. So help or leave."
"I can't help. If I even think aobut helping, it could destroy me and my CVI."
"Selfish."
"Are you a vampire?" Ronnie asked CD.
"No." She aimed her skrills at the smoker. "Pick one; Mulder or Scully."
"You named your skrills Mulder and Scully?" he laughed. She clenched her fists. "You're not
going to do it. You can't. I know who the father of Scully's baby is. I know what'll happen
to Mulder. I know all of those spoilers you fans seem to love so much."
"Okay, I'm lost. What's he talking about?" Frohike asked everyone.
"Nothing." CD dropped her skrills. "Just get 'em out of here before someone decides to
investigate."
"But you're here, and you're someone," Byers said, also very lost.
"No, she's not," CSM said, turning back to the console. "She's a Volunteer, Langly's lackey."
CD stuck her tongue out at him. "Your Taelon boyfriend has locked me out. I can't access
anything. Everything.. my projects... it's all gone." His ear started bleeding again. "Fix
this," he snapped at her.
"How? I've got a CVI too, remember? And I'm not nearly as experienced as you are at
double-crossing people and following my own agenda."
"Watch and learn, girl."

The smoker tried again to reprogram the portal. He hit it out of frustration. "I already knew
how to do that," CD said mercilessly. "You're not showing me anything new, Pops."
Spender hit his head against the console. "Just shut up, little girl," he sighed. She leaned
against the portal, and smiled. "Dear Gods, it's the return of Diana Fowley," he murmured.
"Better than the clone of Suzann Modeski."
"Maybe I can help with the time travel problem," Marcus said. He moved to the console. "Just
remember that you people will forever owe me large quantities of monetary funds."
"Yeah, yeah, work," CD grumbled. "Sorry. I'm kind of having a bad day. Is my ear bleeding?"
Langly checked. "Not too much... so you're going to be my lackey?"
"Yep. I got an advance copy of your book." CD put a hand to her ear. Her finger-tips were
covered in blood. Langly gulped. "Okay, I have to go find a doctor now."
"Good luck," Ronnie said.
CD started to leave. She took CSM's pack of Morleys with her. "I'm going to leave Agent
Mulder a thinly veiled message. See ya."
"She's scary," Ronnie said.
"Yes, we have established that the Spherites are frightening," Frohike said. Spender started
hitting the portal's side. Marcus patiently tapped at the console. "Well?"
"I'm workin' on it, man!" Marcus snapped. "This is years ahead of our technology."
"I could've told you that without 'large quantities of monetary funds'," Langly said. "We're
going to be stuck in the future." Everyone hit their heads on the portal. It flared up. A man
appeared. "Hi Skinner."
"What the... where... who.... Jeff Spender? Isn't he dead?"
"Smoky, you wanna get this one?" Frohike asked.

Meanwhile, in the rich yet slighty seedy Flat Planet Cafe, Mulder and Scully were arguing
over some stupid thing that no one else outside the Sydicate and the X-philes would even know
about, much less care.
Augur watched them talk from his side of the bar. "May I say something?" he loudly
interjected as they started talking about Phoebe Green, whoever that was. "You're both
totally, completely, utterly, one hundred percent out of those things you call a mind." He
pointed at Mulder. "You're nuts for believeing in whatever it is you believe in this week.
And you...." He pointed at Scully. "You're nuts for not believing in what he believes in."
"We've heard this before."
"Yeah, why does everyone keep telling us that?"
"'Cause it's true," Augur said. "More coffee?" A waiter brought him a cut-open Morley's
carton on a tray. Augur gave it a superficial look. "It's for you, Mulder."
"There's blood on it," Scully said, pointing but not touching the tiny spot.
"Weird." Mulder read the message. "Don't recognize the hand-writing."
"Forget the handwriting, man. What does it say?"
"'Trust no one, Fox.'"
"Must be from the smoking man," Scully commented.
"I guess... there's an address on the back."
"You check that out," Scully said, "I'll run a few tests on this blood spot...."

CD came into the Cafe. Krycek and his new Spherite friends were on the dragon couches.
"MOVE!"
"Make me," Krycek said with a slight accent.
"All right. Fight the Bee!" she called. The MSR'Shippers came running. Cypris led them.
"Look, it's Krycek. You know, the guy who kept coming in between Mulder and Scully...."
"Ahh," Cypris said slowly. "Can I have a skrill?" Krycek jumped up. "Oh man.... Well, we
could watch the hallway scene and get popcorn and throw it at the screen."
"Not in here, you couldn't," Augur said, breaking up the X-phile meeting. "CD, going for that
Van Gogh look?" He was referring to the bandage on her ear.
"No, my CVI malfunctioned 'cause of Spender."
"That's funny, Mulder got a message from..." CD looked up at the ceiling. "Ohhhhh...."
"Shh. It's a secret." The fans pounced on this ill-thought comment.
"What's a secret?"
"Is it about Mulder and Scully?"
"Is Mulder the father?"
"DUH! Of course Mulder's the father."
"Scary." Augur went back to the bar. Krycek and Liam were having a staring contest. CD
slipped out the front door. She had to keep an eye on Mulder.

Mulder walked down the hallway to the portal. It was virtually abandoned. The guards had
taken a smoking break. "I don't want to be in the future!" Skinner yelled at Byers. He'd
picked Byers because he was the closest Mulder replacement. "And I certainly don't want to be
here with any of you!"
"DO YOU THINK WE WANT TO BE HERE?!" Frohike demanded. "NO! Scully's pregnant and Mulder's
missing on the other side of that portal. The deranged smoking guy is dead or nearly there.
Here, we've all either sold out, died, or stagnated. Smoky's younger than I am! There's a
psycho girl wandering around, screwing up everything. And these two..." He looked at Ronnie
and Marcus. "On this side of the time-line, they're in charge of humanity's last hope, or
defense, or whatever-- along with a extremely tall two year-old alien-human hybrid who's
guarding a full-blooded alien and doing a really bad job of it from what I've seen...."
"Breathe, man," Marcus said calmly. Frohike growled. "Easy Melvin."
Skinner-- thinking he was being original-- hit his head on the portal. "This is all Mulder's
fault," he said over and over. Mulder couldn't take it any more. He burst into laughter.
"Who's there?"
"David Duchovny," CD said, leading him into the light.
"What's on your arm?" Skinner asked her. Her skrills were faintly glowing.
"Um... it's a birthmark," she lied. Mulder quickly moved away from her.
"That's not David Whoever," Langly said, " it's Mulder."
"Eh, same difference. John, will you give me the disk?" He shook his head. "Groovaliscous. I
gotta go. See ya. Spender, get them home already!"

CD ran out very quickly. She'd planted a bug on Mulder's neck, the portal, the console, and
the smoking man's pocket. Now any one of her many bosses could listen and look in. They could
remote control the portal with nearly instanteous accuracy. True, there was a slight lag....
"Hey, GunChick," Allronix said. She was one of the straggler Spherites. She was there to make
sure no Volunteers interfered in their plan to save Byers from his horrible unspeakable death
of utter pain and sadness to the GunFen community. What's a temporal paradox among fans?
"Oh, hi, how are you? How's the story going? I'm causing Byers angst. Gotta go. I have to
find the Modeski clone. Bye." CD ran off into the night singing: "paranoia paranoia;
everybody's coming to get me. Just say you never met me. I'm going underground with the
moles. Hear the voices in my head. I swear to god it sounds like they're snoring. But if
you're bored then you're boring. The agony and the irony, they're killing me..."
"Bye," Allronix called. "Holy Smoke, she had skrills...." She took out her global to call
Cypris or Mirager or anyone who was on the Spherite X-phile frequency. Spender picked up.
"How'd you get this number?"
"I have connections."
"Cadet Dru just ran by. She's acting suspicious."
Spender rolled his eyes. "She always acts suspicious. She works for Langly. If she wasn't
acting paranoid and suspicious, then that would be suspicious."
"Oh-kay." Allronix threw the globsal before Spender could access a satellite, and strike her
down. (Watch "KillSwitch" for further details...)

"Stupid GunFen use the actors' names instead of the real people's names," Spender muttered,
lighting another cigarette. "Mulder, forget what she called you." The paranoid agent nodded.
"Mistaken identity.
"They stole our name?" Frohike asked.
Spender rolled his eyes. "I said Gun FEN.... It's the fannish plural of, well, fan. Never
mind."
"Fans?" Skinner asked, totally out of his league.
Marcus began to understand the situation. "Silence, Melvin. The GunFen are listening to your
every word. Soon, they will post and claim it as their creation for no money."
"What is he on?"
"Dunno."
"Where can I get some?"
"Dunno."
Marcus waved the billowing smoke away. "I'm going out for some fresh air. Call me if you get
the alien thing to work." He had the uneasy feeling of being watched by whoever was in
control, their rivals, double-agents, hidden operatives and who ever else was playing this
weird little spy game. Allronix was still standing guard. "Hey, where's that CD person?"
Allronix shrugged. "Krycek?"
"The Cafe, I think. Everyone's down there. They're asking him if CSM fathered Scully's kid
because in 'En Ami'... Um, he's at the cafe."
"You people aren't from around here, are you?"
Allronix shook her head.
"Um-kay."

Allronix and Marcus stood outside, waiting for... something to happen. It was just too
peaceful. Krycek ran inside the building, followed by Langly, CD, Cypris, and Mirager. "Hi!"
CD smiled. "Don't let anybody out unless they're coughing up a lung or something."
"So CSM can leave, but not anyone else?"
"Yes, exactly."
"Sounds good to me," Cypris said.
"Oh, and we gotta let Mulder and Scully, you know, have one of their moments."
"Oh, okay."
"And there's two Langlys."
"But only one Krycek, and one Mulder. Whose idea was that?" Mirager asked.
Everyone looked at Dru. "Don't look at me, I just destroy things here. Speaking of which,
c'mon, we've got a Gunmen to save."

CSM let out a puff of smoke. They were late. "Get the disk, send them back, and call off Dru
already!" Krycek said as he ran into the room. "Not necessarily in that order."
CD, the CVI'd Langly, Cypris, Mirager, and Marcus walked in. "Wrong, rat-boy. John must keep
the disk until he...." CD trailed off. "Anyways, Spender, put them back already before we
completely obliterate the time-line. I'm supposed to be on the mother-ship with the Samantha
clones...." She checked her watch. "Thirty-seven minutes ago. Oh well. I always have my
Resistance job to fall back on."
"Ignore her," Mulder said.
"Okay, look, we are going to have some serious problems if THEY don't go back."
"We're that important to the time-line?" Frohike asked.
"No, but Skinner is."
"DRU!"
"WHAT??? I'm doing less damage than Spender."
"Yeah, but he's the smoking man. He gets to do that kind of stuff."
CD rolled her eyes. She picked a direction facing away from the portal. "Look, in the
shadows, it's the Truth!" Everyone looked. She hit the side of the portal to make sure it
would work. The technical side taken care of, she quickly led Skinner, Frohike, Langly,
Byers, Marcus, and Ronnie through. "Have fun," she said softly. "Oh, and Scully is--- and
Mulder-------" They couldn't hear her last words as they went through. The last thing they
heard from the future was Alex Krycek saying, "hey, that's not the truth. It's just a
shadow."

The six of them appeared at the park, just in front of the LGM's van. "All right, what just
happened?" Skinner said almost angrily. "First there's all the stuff with Mulder and Scully.
Then I go through whatever that just was, see a dead man, who turns out to not be him, just
his father, who's also dead! You owe me an explanation at the very least."
"Mass psychosis," Ronnie said. "Hey, Marcus, bet I'll find Lily before you."
"How much you willing to bet?" Marcus smiled. They got into the van.
"What is going on?" Skinner yelled. He also got in the van. Byers got in the driver's seat.
The Gunmen looked at one another. "Magic cheese," Frohike said sagely. "Hey, Skinner, I still
think there's a connection between Scully being pregnant and Mulder being abducted."
"Uh... sure, whatever. Who are they?"
"Agent Sandoval... and some hacker guy whose name is irrelevant."
"Thank you," Marcus said. "This is all pretty weird, man. I'm definitely moving to a
warehouse or something. Byers, man, you can keep that disk. It's not worth it. There's
clones, and old guys who get young, and people with alien weapons on their arms......
Eesh..."
"Hey, it was my disk first!" Ronnie protested. "Lily took it from me!"
"Yeah, well, she has good taste."
"Unlike you."
Byers took the disk out of his pocket. He looked at it thoughtfully. "Move over, Byers, I'll
drive," Langly said. They drove away from the diminishing rip in space/time. And they all
lived paranoidly ever after.

~!~THE END!~!~