Title: Kimmy's Kung Fu
Author: McJen
Email: skyfullofstars76@yahoo.com
Website: www.geocities.com/skyfullofstars76
Category: Gen/Het
Rating: PG
Summary: The LGM investigate a antique shop
and Rennassaince Fair after Kimmy is kidnapped
Disclaimer: The LGM aren't mine.  I just wish
they were


******************************************* 
Kimmy Belmont's Apartment 
7:53 P.M. 
 
Kimmy Belmont is sitting at a large computer desk with 3  
computer screens. He's intently clicking away at the  
keyboard, playing some sort of computer game. His apartment  
is small but well-kept. A nice black leather couch and a  
recliner take up the center of the room. An entertainment  
center with a flat screen TV and a book case with CDRoms  
take up one wall and standing guard beside it is a full size  
suit of armor holding a sword. But what catches the eye is  
the wall decor. Swords of all shapes and sizes, Scottish  
claymores, rapiers, maces, flails, and battle axes hang from  
floor to ceiling. 
 
There is a knock at the door. Kimmy reluctantly pulls  
himself away from his computer and walks over to the door  
opening it a crack. A big guy stands there holding a long  
cardboard box.  
 
KIMMY 
"This had better be good." 
 
DELIVERY GUY 
"I'm from McCleod Antiques, I have your delivery." 
 
Kimmy's eyes widen like a kid on Christmas morning and he  
unbolts the locks on the door letting the delivery guy  
inside. 
 
KIMMY 
"All right, that was fast. I wasn't expecting you for  
another few days. I've been waiting forever for this  
version of Excalibur." 
 
DELIVERY GUY 
"Uh...we got the shipment in early." 
 
Kimmy grabs the box and walks to the kitchen table and  
starts to open it from one end. He doesn't see the delivery  
guy close and lock the door and start to walk towards him. 
 
Kimmy looks inside the box, it's empty. 
 
KIMMY 
"What the hell? There's nothing in here." 
 
Nearly before Kimmy can finish the sentence the guy lunges  
at him. Kimmy pushes a kitchen chair in front of him.  
Kimmy stumbles and reaches out flailing around to get his  
balance. He grabs hold of the suit of armor for support and  
seeing the sword instinctively grabs it, wrenching it free.  
The suit of armor rocks back and forth precariously. The  
delivery guy pulls out a gun and points it at Kimmy. Kimmy  
points the sword at the delivery guy. They both freeze in  
place until the delivery guy laughs and takes a step towards  
Kimmy. The suit of armor topples onto both of them,  
knocking them to the ground. In the middle of a jumble of  
arms, legs, and metal, Kimmy struggles to get up. When he  
stands he looks around frantically for the sword and sees it  
sticking out of the chest of the delivery man. Kimmy turns  
pale and staggers across the room for his telephone. He  
dials a few numbers. While the phone is ringing, two men  
kick in the door. 
********************************** 
CUT TO: Interior of the LGM Warehouse 
 
Frohike is unbolting the door and Emily Belmont, Kimmy's  
sister, walks inside. 
 
FROHIKE 
"Don't tell me, ANOTHER game of Dungeons and Dragons." 
 
EMILY 
"You got a better way to spend a Saturday night?" 
 
FROHIKE 
"I've got lots of em, kid, but I wouldn't wanna shock your  
innocent sensibilities." 
 
EMILY 
"My sensibilities aren't easily shocked." 
 
Langly walks into the room searching for something. Frohike  
gives Emily a little wink.  
 
FROHIKE 
"You didn't tell me you had a date Langly. 3 weekends in a  
row that's a new record." 
 
LANGLY 
"Shut up Frohike." 
 
Langly continues searching for whatever it was he was  
looking for getting more and more frustrated.  
 
FROHIKE 
"And you brushed your hair and everything. Does dad need to  
give you two the birds and the bees lecture?" 
 
EMILY 
"Am I the bird or the bee? I always get that part  
confused." 
 
FROHIKE 
"You, my dear, are an angel. Who can do much better than  
hanging out with this loser and his damn games of D&D." 
 
LANGLY 
"Where the hell are my dice!!!" 
 
Emily's cell phone rings. She shuffles through her backpack  
and pulls it out.  
 
EMILY 
"Hello." 
 
As she listens to whoever it is, her eyes grow wide and her  
face gets pale. A complete transformation takes place. She  
goes from happy to terrified in 10 seconds.  
 
FROHIKE 
"What is it?" 
 
EMILY 
"Kimmy………his kung fu is the best." 
 
******************************************* 
LONE GUNMEN THEME PLAYS HERE 
******************************************** 
Interior LGM Warehouse.  
 
Frohike is sitting beside Emily on the couch trying to  
comfort her. Jimmy sits on the other side of her looking  
concerned. Byers hands her a glass of water that she takes  
in shaking hands. Langly stands there like he's not sure  
what he's suppose to be doing.  
 
FROHIKE 
"Now take it easy kid and tell us what's going on." 
 
EMILY 
"Kimmy and I had this secret code." 
 
BYERS 
"My kung fu is the best?" 
 
EMIlY (nodding) 
"Right. If he was ever in trouble…and I'm talking his life  
is in danger kinda trouble, he was going to call me and say  
those words." 
 
FROHIKE 
"Kimmy is a practical joker." 
 
EMILY 
"No way…uh huh…Not about something like this. This is about  
the only thing he's ever been serious about with me." 
 
JIMMY 
"He's a big wuss guys. I mean, he gets scared if I just  
look at him funny."  
 
LANGLY  
"Where was he calling from?" 
 
EMILY (looks at her cell phone) 
"His apartment." 
 
FROHIKE 
"Let's go." 
 
 
************************************ 
CUT TO: Kimmy's apartment 
 
Frohike, Langly, Byers, and Jimmy wait outside the door to  
Kimmy's apartment while Emily gets out the apartment key.  
 
BYERS 
"Better let one of us go in first." 
 
She holds out the key for one of them to take. Langly,  
Byers, and Frohike stare at the key like it is a stick of  
dynamite. 
 
FROHIKE 
"Oh, give me the damn thing." 
 
Frohike takes the key and unlocks the door. He pushes the  
door open warily, taking a peek inside.  
 
FROHIKE 
"Kimmy?"  
 
There's no answer so he walks into the room. The place has  
been trashed, the computer screens busted in, chairs  
toppled, couch cushions thrown about the room.  
 
FROHIKE 
"Looks like someone's been doing some redecorating." 
 
Frohike takes a step inside the room and sees the body  
sprawled out on the floor. He turns back to the group.  
 
FROHIKE 
"Wait here for a second ok?" 
 
Byers and Langly exchange a worried glance as they wait  
outside the door. Frohike's gone a long minute and comes  
back. 
 
FROHIKE 
"There's a body inside....it's not Kimmy." 
 
They all walk into the room. The walls are completely bare  
of all swords 
 
LANGLY 
"What happened to the medieval arsenal. Kimmy's gonna die  
when he sees this." 
 
Frohike gives Langly a **look** 
 
EMILY 
"Why would someone steal all of his swords?" 
 
Byers, Frohike, Jimmy, and Emily walk across the room to  
look at the body. The sword is gone from his chest. A pool  
of blood has spread around his body on the carpet. 
 
 
FRHOIKE  
"Do you know this guy?" 
 
EMILY 
"I've never seen him before." 
 
BYERS 
"Whoever it is, it looks like a stab wound." 
 
EMILY (staring at the body) 
"More like a sword wound, Kimmy loves them." 
 
LANGLY (looking everywhere but the body) 
"Kimmy has taken this whole sword of wounding thing to new  
levels."  
 
EMILY  
"You don't think Kimmy did this? Do you?" 
 
BYERS 
"Shooting CGI's on the shooting range is a far cry from  
stabbing a man through the chest in cold blood." 
 
FROHIKE 
"I don't think there's much chance of that. Kimmy could  
barely cross the street by himself, much less do this." 
 
Jimmy had been unusually quiet the whole time they were  
examining the body. He wasn't squeamish about such things  
like Langly was, but he was uncomfortable with the fact that  
someone had died.  
 
JIMMY 
"Don't you think we should call the police. This guy is  
dead. Someone will be missing him when he doesn't come home  
from work." 
 
FROHIKE 
"I seriously doubt this guy clocked out at 5 every day." 
 
JIMMY 
"Maybe not, but even bad guys have families don't they?" 
 
BYERS 
"You're absolutely right Jimmy. Once we're finished here,  
we'll call the authorities." 
 
Jimmy nods satisfied. 
 
Langly had wandered away from the body and was sitting at  
Kimmy's computer desk.  
 
LANGLY 
"Amateurs. Just busted the computer screen, the hard  
drive's untouched." 
 
He reaches behind the desk to unplug the hard drive and sees  
blood on the carpet. 
 
LANGLY 
"Guys." 
 
Byers and Frohike walk over and look. The stain of blood  
was small, obviously not enough blood lose to kill someone.  
And in the wall above the blood stain was a bullet hole.  
 
EMILY 
"I heard a gunshot....On the phone...I heard a gunshot." 
 
Her strong stomach at the dead body became weak at the site  
of a small blood stain and a bullet hole. Her face goes pale  
and her knees buckle. Frohike catches hold of her.  
 
FROHIKE 
"Langly, get her out of here." 
 
Langly gladly grabs the opportunity to get out of the room.  
He escorts her down stairs into the cool night air.  
*************************** 
CUT TO: Parking Lot 
 
Langly leads Emily back to the VW Van. He opens the side  
door of the van and they sit down. She rests her head in  
her hands and begins to cry softly. Langly sits there  
awkwardly for a minute trying to decide what to do. He goes  
around to the front seat and comes back with a half-drunk  
bottle of Dr. Pepper and hands it to her.  
 
EMILY (takes a sip) 
"Thanks." 
 
He tries to comfort her, but his words don't come out very  
comforting. 
 
LANGLY 
"I'm sure he's ok. I mean, there wasn't enough blood there  
to do any kind of serious damage. So the bullet couldn't  
have hit any major arteries or there'd have been blood all  
over the place." 
 
Emily looks at him. 
 
LANGLY 
"What I mean is…………" 
 
EMILY 
"I know what you mean." 
 
LANGLY 
"They must want him alive for some reason." 
 
EMILY 
"What the hell could Kimmy have gotten himself into?"  
 
LANGLY 
"I don't know. But this is without a doubt much worse than  
Vegas." 
 
EMILY 
"Vegas? A few years back?" 
 
LANGLY (nodding) 
"Yeah, he got into a high stakes D&D game. Thought he was  
playing for dollars when he was playing for thousands." 
 
EMILY (laughing) 
"I had to wire him the money. Told me someone stole his  
wallet." 
 
She quits laughing and looks sad and thoughtful. 
 
EMILY 
"I hope he's all right." 
 
She looks at Langly. He reaches out a hand towards her face  
to wipe her tears off her cheeks…………and he hears Byers,  
Frohike, and Jimmy talking in the distance. He pulls his  
hand away abruptly as they come into view.  
 
FROHIKE 
"Let's get out of here. Cops are on their way." 
 
Byers hands Langly the hard-drive from Kimmy's computer as  
they all climb into the van and drive away. 
********************************************** 
 
CUT TO: Interior Warehouse  
 
Frohike, Byers, and Emily gather around Langly at the  
computer desk. Langly hooks up Kimmy's hard-drive and 
boots up the computer. The screen saver fills the 
screen. It's a huge photo of the "Lone Gunwoman of 
the Week." 
 
BYERS (groaning & shaking his head) 
"Langly…" 
 
LANGLY 
"Well, at least someone appreciated my efforts." 
 
EMILY 
"Who's she?" 
 
FROHIKE 
"Long story, kid." 
 
Langly punches on the computer for a few minutes.  
 
LANGLY 
"The only thing I can find about his mediveal arsenal 
is a receipt for a sword. He ordered a replica of 
William Wallace's scottish claymore from McCleod 
Antiques and it never came in. He sent a couple of 
nasty emails to them wanting to know where his sword 
was." 
 
FROHIKE 
"Yeah, I bet he did."  
 
LANGLY 
"According to their records it was shipped by FEDEX.  
It was suppose to be delivered last week but the FEDEX 
tracking number has it as in transit. It isn't 
scheduled to arrive until tomorrow." 
 
BYERS 
"So what did Kimmy get in the mail? The empty box in 
his apartment had a McCleod Antique address on it." 
 
LANGLY shrugged 
"Beats the hell outta me." 
 
FROHIKE 
"Who are these McCleod Antiques anyway?"  
 
Byers sat down at another computer and began to type.  
After a few minutes he said...  
 
BYERS 
"They specialize in museum quality replicas of 
medieval swords as well as dealing in high priced 
antiques. Legal and not so legal from the looks of 
things. They've got locations in London, Paris, 
Athens, Cairo….just about every major city in Europe." 
 
LANGLY 
"Well FEDEX has been making some interesting 
deliveries for McCleod antiques. Seems that their 
clientel includes all sorts of high security places.  
Half the members of the United Nations have received 
something from them in the past year." 
 
Frohike glances over his shoulder at the computer 
screen. 
 
FROHIKE 
"Damn, the thing reads like a role call list. How the 
hell did Kimmy get invovled with diplomats?" 
 
LANGLY 
"According to FEDEX, there was some sort of mix up.  
Kimmy's sword was shipped to the McCleod Antiques 
offices in DC. McCleod Antiques was expecting a 
shippment from the Indian government." 
 
BYERS 
"But it got shipped to Kimmy?"  
 
LANGLY 
"Yeah." 
 
BYERS 
"Set to arrive tomorrow?"  
 
LANGLY 
"Someone from the McCleod must have come by to find 
their package." 
 
EMILY 
"And when they only found Kimmy?" 
 
FROHIKE 
"All hell broke loose." 
 
BYERS 
"We have to get that sword." 
*************** 
CUT TO: Outside Kimmy's Apartment 
 
Langly and Byers are in the backseat of the VW Van,  
stationed in front of the computer. Jimmy is sitting 
in the front seat looking out the window. 
 
Frohike is inside Kimmy's apartment. Through a fourth 
story  window Jimmy can see Frohike peeking out at them.  
Jimmy  waves. Frohike talks to them through the headsets. 
 
FROHIKE (through headset) 
"What's taking so long? I thought they were gonna 
drop this  sword off soon."  
 
BYERS 
"No sign of them yet." 
 
LANGLY 
"The FEDEX tracking numbers says it was logged in at 
the  D.C. warehouse this morning and it's enroute to the  
apartment." 
 
A few moments later a Fed Ex truck drives up and 
parks.  Jimmy notices three men getting out of a car and walk 
toward the truck.  
 
JIMMY 
"Uh, the bad guys are here." 
 
BYERS 
"What?" 
 
FROHIKE (through headset) 
"WHAT!!" 
 
 
CUT TO:  
 
The FedEx man, runs up the steps to the apartment.  
Frohike  answers the door and accepts the package. It takes 
the FedEx guy a few minutes to get a signature, his pen 
runs out of ink and he fumbles around in his pockets for 
another one. Frohike is tense. The FedEx guy finally finds a pen 
and hands it to Frohike. Frohike hears a door open and 
from the stair well walks the two bad guys. Frohike signs the 
formsand the FedEx man leaves. He closes the door and bolts 
it. 
 
FROHIKE (through the headset) 
"I'll go out the fire escape." 
 
He walks out onto the balcony and climbs onto the fire 
escape, as he makes it down one floor, he hears the a 
bad guy climb out from Kimmy's apartment window above him. 
He starts to hurry and sees another bad guy on the ground 
beneath the fire escape waiting. 
 
LANGLY 
"Uh oh." 
 
The bad guys have Frohike cornered. Without saying a 
word, Jimmy jumps out of the van and starts running toward 
the fire escape. 
 
JIMMY 
"FROHIKE!! OVER HERE!!" 
 
Frohike sees Jimmy and he tosses the box into the air. 
It arches into the sky and flies deep. The two bad guys 
turn their attention from Frohike to Jimmy. Jimmy runs 
like a wide receiver going after a pass and catches the box 
on the run. He tucks it under his arm and disappears around 
the corner with the bad guys following behind him. They 
vanish into the darkness. 
 
Frohike climbs into the van. Langly glares at him. 
 
LANGLY 
"You do realize that Forest Gump out there will 
probably run all the way to Canada?" 
***************** 
CUT TO: The Warehouse 
 
Langly, Byers, and Frohike walk inside the Warehouse.  
They are more than a little astonished to see Jimmy. He's  
standing beside Emily at the desk examining the sword 
and he's not even out of breath.  
 
LANGLY 
"You ran? All this way?" 
 
JIMMY (shrugs) 
"Sure, why not. It's not that far." 
 
BYERS (patting Jimmy on the back) 
"Good work, Jimmy." 
 
Jimmy smiles. They all gather around the desk to get 
a better look at the sword. Frohike opens the box and 
pulls out the sword. 
 
FROHIKE (dramatically) 
"Behold: Excalibur." 
 
Frohike examines the sword.  
 
FROHIKE 
"There's nothing in the hilt of the sword. I can't 
see anyplace to hide any kind of device or information." 
 
BYERS 
"What about the metal?" 
 
Frohike examines the metal.  
 
FROHIKE (looking at the computer screen) 
"Nothing exciting here, just your everyday blend of 
metal alloys." 
 
Byers looks at the computer screen image of the sword  
composition. Towards the right side of the sword is a 
long faint line. 
 
BYERS (pointing at the screen) 
"What is that?" 
 
FROHIKE 
"The computer analysis says it's nothing. Probably 
just a manufacturing error." 
 
Byers motions for Frohike to get up. He sits down at 
the computer and punches away at the keyboard and hits 
return. The computer image darkens the left side of the sword  
stopping right along the line. 
 
BYERS 
"I recalibrated the scans to show any microscopic 
changes in the surface. That side shows indentations all along 
the right half of the sword." 
 
 
FROHIKE 
"Damn. It's a cd."  
 
EMILY 
"What?" 
 
LANGLY 
"They've burned information onto the sword itself." 
 
FROHIKE 
"McCleod Antiques must be a front for selling 
government information to other countries." 
 
LANGLY 
"Shops all over the world, international buyers and 
sellers. It all makes sense." 
 
BYERS 
"It's ingenius really. Who would think to even look 
at a sword. They can ship it right through customs in full 
view of everyone and no one would be the wiser." 
 
JIMMY 
"What kinda cd player could play that though?" 
 
BYERS 
"Excellent question, Jimmy. It would have to be 
specially made." 
 
They all look at Frohike. He considers it a moment. 
 
FROHIKE 
"Uh, huh. No way. I could do it. But it would take. 
 
Weeks." 
 
EMILY 
"But we don't have that kind of time." 
 
******************** 
Cut to: Interior Warehouse
 
It's late. Langly suffering from insomnia as usual 
walks downstairs to get something from his computer desk.  
He glances over at the couch where Emily should be 
sleeping.But she's sitting up flipping through the channels. He 
walks over to her. 
 
LANGLY 
"Can't sleep?" 
 
EMILY 
"Nope, was gonna watch a movie, but your selection 
isn't the best." 
 
LANGLY 
"Hey, we've got some great stuff." 
 
EMILY 
"Alien autopsies and Zapruder tapes." 
 
LANGLY 
"There's nothing like watching JFK's head getting 
blown to bits to cure the worst insomnia." 
 
Emily shoots Langly a look. 
 
EMILY 
"You think he'll get out of this all right?" 
 
LANGLY 
"I don't know." 
 
Langly sits down on the couch next to her. 
 
EMILY 
"I know neither of us would win the best sibling of 
the year award. But....he's all the family I've got." 
 
LANGLY 
"One more person than I've got." 
 
Emily looked at him.  
 
EMILY 
"No family left?" 
 
LANGLY 
"None that I care to remember." 
 
Unsettled by the direction the conversation was going, 
Langly walks over to the computers. He sits down and 
clicks away at the keyboard. Emily peeks over his shoulder. 
 
LANGLY 
"We're gonna have to get into the McCleod building." 
 
Emily sits down beside him and shuffles through some 
papers that were on the desk. 
 
LANGLY 
"What's that?" 
 
EMILY 
"Kimmy's mail. Frohike brought it back from his 
apartment." 
 
LANGLY 
"Oh." 
 
Langly looks back at the keyboard and pulls up the lay 
out of the building. 
 
LANGLY 
"Motions detectors, laser beams, weight sensitive 
floor tiles. It's not gonna be easy getting in." 
 
EMILY (looking at a flyer in the mail) 
"We could always walk in through the front door." 
 
LANGLY 
"What?" 
 
She hands him a flyer. It reads: McCleod Antiques 
Annual Renaissance Festival. Costumes Contests, 
Reenactments, Antique Vendors, Food, Games. 
 
EMILY (grinning) 
"I know where we can get a suit of armor." 
 
*************************** 
 
CUT TO: Exterior McCleod Antiques 
 
The VW Van is parked in a crowded parking lot adjacent 
to McCleod Antiques. The Renaissance Fair is set up on 
the grounds of the antique shop. Booths of all shapes and 
sizes surround the building. People in both medieval 
costumes and regular clothes are wandering around. Medieval music 
can be heard in the distance.  
 
Langly, Byers, and Frohike, are standing outside of 
the opened doors of the van. Byers is dressed as King 
Arthur. The replica of Excalibur is hanging from a scabbard on 
his hip. Frohike is dressed as Merlin in dark blue silk 
flowing robes and a pointy hat. Langly is dressed in a 
complete suit of armor. He's sitting on the floor of the van 
while Emily helps him get his metal helmet on.  
 
EMILY (grinning) 
"Not too bad Lord Manhammer." 
 
FROHIKE 
"That's Sir Lancelot for today." 
 
LANGLY 
I still don't see why Byers gets to be King Arthur." 
 
FROHIKE 
"Quit complaining. You had your chance tin man." 
 
LANGLY 
"Yeah, but only if I cut my hair. Like THAT'S gonna  
happen." 
 
FROHIKE 
"Besides, you were the only one tall enough to fit 
inside  the suit of armor." 
 
Frohike hands Langly a headset and he opens the front 
of the  metal helmet and sticks it in his ear. Jimmy walks 
from  around the corner of the Van dressed as a court jester 
and  says: 
 
JIMMY (laughing) 
"TRICK OR TREAT! This is great guys. This is better 
than  Halloween." 
 
FROHIKE (looking down at his flowing silk robe) 
"You know, except for this ridiculous hat, I could get 
used  to wearing something like this." 
 
LANGLY 
"I'm SO glad you are enjoying yourselves. I'm 
sweatin'  buckets in this damn sardine can." 
 
BYERS (to Emily) 
"You're sure you will be able to handle things from 
here?" 
 
EMILY 
"Don't worry. I got the blueprints of the building on 
the  computer and once Frohike gets the infra red censors 
in  place I'll lead Lancelot right to Kimmy." 
 
BYERS 
"If the worst should happen and we get caught, save  
yourself. You won't do us any good if you go down 
with us." 
 
EMILY 
"I'll be fine. Now go do your swashbuckling."  
 
JIMMY 
"I always wanted to swashbuckle." 
 
Langly, Byers, and Frohike roll their eyes at Jimmy 
and walk in the direction of the Antique Building. 
 
********************* 
 
CUT TO:  
 
Frohike and Jimmy are walking around the side of the  
Antiques Building.  
 
FROHIKE 
"After I get this last censor in place, go back to the 
van." 
 
Jimmy nods. They had set infrared censors along 3 
sides of the building without trouble. However, a stage had 
been set up along the last side of the building. A crowd has  
gathered and is watching a reenactment of a KING in 
his medieval court. Frohike and Jimmy creep behind the 
stage. Frohike bends down to secure the censor in place while 
Jimmy stands guard. Jimmy watches the show. The king, 
dressed in lavish red robes and furs, sits in a wooden throne.  
After dismissing some faithful villagers he says: 
 
KING 
"Bring me the jester." 
 
Before Jimmy realizes what is happening, two knights 
are escorting him up the steps onto the stage. Despite 
his protests he's pushed onto the stage. He stands there  
uncertainly for a second. He looks out at the crowd, 
grins and waves. The king yells: 
 
KING 
"You're suppose to entertain ME!!" 
 
The King's yelling startles Jimmy so much that he 
noticeably jumps. The crowd laughs. 
 
JIMMY 
"Entertain?" 
 
KING 
"A song, a dance, a story… it's what you do." 
 
JIMMY 
"Oh, yeah.. .. right." 
 
Jimmy thinks for a long moment. He looks at the crowd 
and back at the king. Back stage, Frohike gets the censor 
in place and looks around for Jimmy. He sees him 
onstage. 
 
JIMMY 
"A story. OK, so a 3 – legged dog walks into a bar.  
He goes up to the bartender and says: I'm looking for 
the man that shot my paw." 
 
The crowd laughs, Jimmy waits expectantly, smiling at 
the king. Frohike groans and leaves Jimmy on stage. 
******************************* 
CUT TO: Byers  
 
Byers is walking through the Antique Building. He 
passes through a display room. All types of medieval items 
are displayed on tables throughout the room. While he's  
standing there Frohike walks into the room and joins 
him.  
 
FROHIKE 
"Kimmy should love it here." 
 
BYERS 
"Where's Jimmy?" 
 
FROHIKE 
"Entertaining the King." 
 
BYERS 
"What?" 
 
FROHIKE (rolling his eyes) 
"Don't ask." 
 
They leave the display room and walk down a long 
hallway. There are several offices on either side. Frohike and 
Byers open and shut several doors before they find the room  
they're looking for. 
 
BYERS 
"Psst. Frohike." 
 
They walk into an office and Frohike sits down at the  
computer desk. Attached to the computer is a very 
long thin rectangular machine about the length of a sword. At 
the front is a small opening. Byers draws the sword from 
it's scabbard and inserts it into the opening. Frohike 
inserts a blank cd into the CDR drive. He punches a few buttons 
on the keyboard and the downloading begins. 
 
****************** 
CUT TO: Interior VW Van 
 
Emily is sitting at the lap top computer. Langly is 
talking to her through the headset.  
 
LANGLY 
"Are the censors in place yet?" 
 
EMILY 
"Yeah, I'm activating them now." 
 
Jimmy opens the door and begins talking a mile a 
minute. 
 
JIMMY (dramatically) 
"I was a hit. I was swashing buckles. I was courting 
 
jesters." 
 
Emily shushes him and goes back to work. Emily pulls 
the censors up on the computer screen and begins leading 
Langly through the building.  
 
EMILY 
"Ok, Langly, there's only one place in the building 
where it looks like anyone is alone. The basement, in a small  
closet. It's gotta be him." 
******************************* 
 
CUT TO: Langly staggers through the Antique Building 
making enough noise to wake the dead. The guards pay him no 
mind, assuming his someone from the Renaissance Fair.  
 
LANGLY 
"Where am I goin' Em?" 
 
EMILY (through headset) 
"He's below the first floor. The stairs are down the  
hallway, first door on the left."  
 
Langly finds some stairs and he follows them down a 
dark stairwell in the basement. 
 
Across the room he sees a thick door with a small 
opening in it. 
 
EMILY (through headset) 
"You're right on top of him. He's right behind that 
door."  
 
LANGLY 
"Yeah, and the door is 1 foot thick reinforced 
concrete. I'm gonna need Frohike's help." 
 
Langly clanks his way over to the door. Kimmy is 
peeking out the small opening in the door.  
 
KIMMY 
"Aren't you a little tall for a storm trooper?" 
 
LANGLY 
"Shut up, you aren't exactly a damsel in distress." 
 
KIMMY 
"Took you long enough……………hey!!! That's my suit of 
armor! It's not meant to be worn. If you ruin that you're 
going to have to pay for it." 
 
LANGLY (through the headset to Emily) 
"Are you sure you really want me to rescue him?" 
 
********************* 
CUT TO: Computer Room 
 
Frohike is downloading the information from the sword 
onto a cdrom. He and Byers are anxiously watching the 
computer save the information as percentages go across the 
screen. 56%.....69%......74% 
 
Jimmy talks to Frohike over the headsets. 
 
JIMMY (through headset) 
"Camelot to Merlin. Over." 
 
FROHIKE 
"Merlin here, what's up at the castle?"  
 
Byers rolls his eyes at Frohike. 
 
JIMMY (through headset) 
"Sir Langlylot needs your assistance." 
 
FROHIKE 
"Where is he?" 
 
JIMMY (through headset) 
"The Dungeon. Steps are right down the hall way you 
just left." 
 
FROHIKE 
"OK. Tell him Merlin's on his way." 
 
Byers gives Frohike a look. 
 
BYERS 
"You are having entirely too much fun with this." 
 
Frohike grins. 
 
The computer finishes its download and an alarm 
sounds. Frohike takes the cdrom from the computer and sticks 
it into his cape. Byers and Frohike exchange a worried glance 
as they hear foot steps approaching.  
 
BYERS 
"Go help Langly. I'll stall them here." 
 
FROHIKE  
"You're sure?" 
 
Byers pulls the sword from the cd reader looking like 
King Arthur pulling Excalibur from the sword in the stone.  
 
 
BYERS (holding the sword in the ready to fight 
position) 
"I'm sure." 
 
Frohike rushes out into the hall, his robe swishing 
around him. Byers turns and faces the oncoming footsteps.  
************************ 
CUT TO: The Basement. 
 
Langly is working on the door with a crow bar when 
Frohike comes into the room.  
 
KIMMY (staring out the peep hole at Frohike) 
"I've always wondered what a real live hobbit looked 
like." 
 
FROHIKE 
"Be wary of wizards because we are subtle and quick to 
 anger." 
 
KIMMY (dripping with sarcasm) 
"Keep dreamin' Bilbo." 
 
FROHIKE (pushing Langly out of the way.) 
"Outta my way tin man." 
 
Frohike reaches into his cape and pulls something out. 
 
Within a matter of seconds the door opens as if by 
magic. Langly stares at him astounded. 
 
LANGLY 
"How the hell did you do that?" 
 
FROHIKE (shrugs) 
"I'm Merlin."  
 
******************* 
CUT TO: Computer Room 
 
Byers is standing ready with the sword. A huge man, 
BAD GUY, who is one of the thugs from Kimmy's apartment, 
comes into the room. He sees Byers with the sword and 
reaches for his gun. Before BAD GUY can even get his hand to his  
holster, Byers has used the sword to slice through the 
leather strap on his belt, pull the entire holster off 
and toss it to the far side of the room. BAD GUY stumbles 
out the door into the hallway. Byers chases the man down 
the hallway into a larger display room. The BAD GUY runs 
over to a display case and grabs a sword. He turns and faces 
Byers. 
 
CUT TO: Computer Room 
Frohike, Langly, and Kimmy walk into the computer room 
and find it empty. They hear the sound of metal on metal 
and run full speed down the hallway into the display room. 
 
Langly more waddles than runs in his suit of armor 
he's wearing.  
 
Frohike, Kimmy, and Langly watch as Byers sword 
fights. The BAD GUY's sword is obviously heavy and he has a hard 
time swinging it with any force. Byers quickly jumps out 
of the way as the BAD GUY makes a swing at him and another.  
Byers gets in a quick swipe with his much lighter sword and 
nicks the BAD GUY on the upper arm. Suddenly a voice yells: 
 
 
MAN WITH GUN 
"Nobody move." 
 
They all freeze and see a man with a gun. Frohike 
reaches behind his back and grabs a flail off the display 
case. He throws it at MAN WITH GUN. It hits him in the legs 
and he's momentarily distracted. Then everything happens at 
once. Byers whacks the BAD GUY over the head with the hilt 
of the sword and knocks him out. Frohike pushes past Langly 
nearly knocking him over and takes a flying leap at MAN WITH 
GUN. MAN WITH GUN falls to the floor hitting his head on a  
display case on the way down. The gun hits the floor 
and goes off. Langly struggles to get his balance and 
bumps into Kimmy. Accidentally knocking Kimmy out of the 
way as the gun goes off. The bullet hits Langly in the 
stomach and he falls to the ground. The room falls into 
stillness.Byers, Frohike and Kimmy all stare in stunned shock at 
 
Langly laying on the ground. Kimmy crawls over to 
him. 
 
KIMMY (genuinely upset) 
"Langly? Langly?" 
 
Frohike and Byers rush over. 
 
KIMMY 
"He can't be dead. He's Lord Manhammer." 
************************** 
CUT TO: Interior VW VAN 
 
EMILY (through the headset) 
"Langly? Answer me Langly." 
 
Jimmy sits beside her looking worried.  
 
EMILY 
"Go get them. NOW." 
 
*********************** 
CUT TO: Langly is laying on the floor unmoving.  
Byers, Frohike, and Kimmy are looking down at him. Frohike 
looks him over for a bullet wound and sees the bullet wedged 
into one of the seams of metal on the suit of armor.  
 
FROHIKE (patting his face) 
"Langly? Talk to me." 
 
LANGLY (woozily) 
"Am I dead?"  
 
Kimmy, Frohike, and Byers breathe a sigh of relief.  
 
FROHIKE 
"This sardine can saved your life." 
 
******************************* 
CUT TO: Warehouse 
 
Frohike is sitting at the desk looking at the 
computer. Kimmy and Emily are peeking over his shoulder. Byers 
is back in his suit and tie again. Frohike, however, is 
still wearing his Merlin cape with his house slippers. On 
the computer screen is the next front page for the Lone 
Gunman. The headlines read: "CEO of McCleod Antiques a Spy" 
 
KIMMY 
"Some headline. So why didn't you put any of the 
juicy information in the article? I thought you were all 
for getting out the truth." 
 
BYERS 
"Juicy information?" 
 
EMILY 
"He's mad because you aren't printing what was on the  
sword." 
 
FROHIKE 
"You imbecile. You want us to compromise the 
locations of  covert military operations in the Middle East?"  
 
BYERS 
"If we did that we could be responsible for deaths of 
who knows how many American soldiers." 
 
KIMMY 
"Well, it still seems like a big lot of a waste of 
time. The other informants are still out there. Only this 
CEO went down. What good have you done?" 
 
BYERS 
"But they'll have to find another way to exchange 
their information." 
 
FROHIKE 
"You can bet that the FBI and CIA are already checking 
swords dealers around the country." 
 
They all are quiet for a moment staring at the 
headline.  
 
KIMMY 
"So where does my name go in the story?" 
 
FROHIKE 
"You're name? You gotta be kidding me. You just said 
it was a waste of time. You didn't even do ANYTHING for 
this story. You spent the entire time locked up." 
 
KIMMY 
"Yeah, but you never would have found out about it if 
it weren't for me." 
 
FROHIKE 
"But if it weren't for us, you'd still be in that 
basement." 
 
BYERS 
"Guys, guys, I'm sure we can come to some sort of 
solution."  
 
Emily leaves the guys arguing about whose name goes 
where in the story. She walks down the hallway to Langly's 
room and knocks on the door.  
 
LANGLY 
"It's open." 
 
She walks inside. Langly is laying on the bed 
watching TV. 
 
EMILY 
"Hey. How's my knight in shining armor?"  
 
LANGLY 
"Doc says I'll live. But I'll tell you one thing, 
cracked ribs SUCK." 
 
EMILY 
"Maybe this will cheer you up." 
 
She holds up a cdrom. On it was written Star Wars 
Phantom Menace Kimmy's Reedited Version. 
 
LANGLY 
"Is that what I think it is? He's been holding out on 
me for months."  
 
EMILY 
"Kimmy thought he owed you something. It's his way of 
saying thanks." 
 
LANGLY 
"I doubt I'll ever hear it coming from his mouth 
though."  
 
EMILY 
"Probably not. But actions speak louder than words,  
right?….So you wanna watch it?" 
 
LANGLY 
"Now?"  
 
She nodded and held up a microwave bag of popcorn and 
two cokes. 
 
EMILY 
"I brought snacks and everything."  
 
LANGLY 
"Ok, sure….here…..uh…let me."  
 
He tosses computer parts and clothes and books off the 
other side of his bed. She sticks the dvd in and sits down 
beside him.  
 
Frohike walks into Langly's room with some sort of 
palm pilot.  
 
FROHIKE 
"What the hell did you do to this thing Langly…all I 
wanted was…."  
 
Seeing the two of them kicked back on the bed, Frohike 
freezes. The bag of pop corn is between them and they 
are about as far away from each other as they could 
possibly be without falling off the bed. but that doesn't stop a 
huge grin from spreading across Frohike's face.  
 
FROHIKE 
"Well, isn't this cozy. I didn't realize your room 
had turned into the love shack."  
 
LANGLY 
"Oh can it Doohickey." 
 
FROHIKE 
"I'm sure she'll give you a hickey if you ask really 
nice." 
 
Emily threw some popcorn at Frohike. Langly followed, 
sending a hail of pop corn hitting Frohike in the 
face.  
 
He leaves the room laughing, then opens the door 
again, and locks it from the inside. 
 
FROHIKE  
"Just in case you two decide to get a little more  
comfortable…I wouldn't want anyone else walking in on 
you."  
 
He winks and they throw the entire popcorn bag at him 
as he shuts the door.  
 
LANGLY 
"Ignore Frohike, he's a real pain in the ass……him 
thinking that we…I mean we're……" 
 
EMILY 
"Friends."  
 
LANGLY 
"Exactly….and for him to think that……..that....it's  
ridiculous." 
 
EMILY 
"It is?"  
 
LANGLY 
"It's not?"  
 
They looked at each other. 
*********************************** 
THE END