Title: Warmth Author: Morgan Stuart E-Mail: morganstuart@mindspring.com Website: N/A Category: Gen/Het, Pre-Slash, AU Rating: R Summary: It's eleven years in the future, eight since "the cataclysm," and only three of the characters from The X-Files have survived. Archive: With permission from author. Disclaimers: No copyright infringement is intended. Notes: Spoilers: general knowledge of all eight seasons of The X-Files through "Empedocles," specific mention of "Unusual Suspects" and "Three of a Kind." "The soul perishes not of dark But of cold. The soul in deep distress Seeks not light but warmth, Not counsel but understanding." -Author Unknown
Strange, what dreams haunted her now. She had lost her child—her second daughter, not even as old as her first had been when she, too, had died—and the baby's father, her partner, and her other partner, the one she always thought of as the new one, no matter how many years had passed, and the Assistant Director who had overseen them both, and family and friends in numbers too staggering and too complete to comprehend even now, and yet her nightmare included none of these irreparable losses.
She woke suddenly, with the image still in her mind. The men were Aboveground, both of them, murdered. Bright red blood drenched light golden hair, tangling the strands as it thickened, and also smeared past open, grey-blue eyes as they stared up in stoic calm at the wounded sky.
She shuddered, and two bodies instinctively drew her closer. It was just a dream, not reality. She felt a large hand move on her shoulder, a breath against her neck, and the rise and fall of another chest beneath her cheek.
How strange, she thought, would it be for Mulder or Doggett or Skinner to walk in and see her now, spooned against one man, pillowed upon another. But the thought did not disturb her somehow. Deep, deep Belowground, this small circle of flesh and breath and need was as vital as food and air and water. The years and the cataclysm had changed all of the survivors, and dwindled her world to include only two.
On the day the infection took the
surface like so much flashfire, an unintended but deadly repercussion of a
colonization not yet fully realized, only the most slender thread of fate
had sent Frohike out with Mulder and little Melissa for a day of
work--and, undoubtedly, play--and left Scully with Langly and Byers deep
beneath the Lone Gunmen Headquarters, heads buried in research. At first
the three survivors were united in denial and shock; she was not so far
gone that she couldn't appreciate that the men's world was stripped of a
constant just as hers had been. Frohike may not have been the most normal
or sane of men, but he
Eight years and hundreds of miles
later, their combined intellects purchased a survival of sorts for the
three, as they protected themselves from the virulent plagues of an
injured planet and the very real threat posed by roving bands of the
walking wounded who had escaped the first wave of death. The years were
hard on each of them; she knew she had aged, and she could see it in the
other two faces. Langly's face bore a pattern of wrinkles from the hours
he spent poring over electronics: generators for power and computers for
the ongoing search for information and, perhaps, contact with individuals
who were similarly buried and biding time. Every so often she or Byers
would float the idea of braving the Aboveground long enough to navigate
the ruins of some local town; surely, somewhere, some abandoned store had
a pair of prescription glasses never claimed by an owner, glasses that
would do more good than harm for Langly's eyes. But the danger always
seemed too grave to risk anything more than Byers' limited few minutes to
patrol and check external systems—even Langly agreed—and thus his
shattered lenses were not replaced.
Byers used the precious moments
to sink into an almost trancelike rest, not second-guessing Langly or
offering commentary, but appreciating the moment's respite from thought,
from life-or-death decision making and its opposite, monotonous, thankless
labor. He wore his hair slightly longer, his beard somewhat thicker, to
protect against the frigid climate to which they'd migrated in a
combination of retreat and quest. The grey at his chin and temples grew
every year, and on the days when he labored over the
The two had proven more adaptable, more skilled than she could ever imagine, and she knew she owed her life to them. She tried to return the favor by using her own knowledge as best she could: what was edible, what was necessary, how to sterilize and treat and prevent and heal. The three had stayed in that symbiosis for years, connected and yet distinct and apart.
Then came the day that Langly, in disgust at some malfunction that might have been trivial or life-threatening—Scully never seemed to know which was which with him—offered a loud, bawdy, and completely unexpected joke. She laughed without thinking, and then hesitated at the unfamiliar sound. Langly, too, seemed surprised at her giggle, but grinned widely as he returned to his work. He did not try it again soon, but she later realized that he watched her, and planned and plotted for the next time he could get her to react with something as spontaneous and true. He won smiles and chuckles over the months. Then, one day, after she stretched and sighed in almost tearful fatigue, she turned and embraced him and nearly fell asleep standing up, her face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and, with the same unselfconsciousness with which he did everything else, he followed his instinct and just sang to her, forgotten songs by dead musicians—who once had been underground in their own way—in an off-tune tenor. That night she took him to her bed.
Byers joined them much later. At
first, the revelation about Scully and Langly did little but make the
soft-spoken man even more quiet, a painful combination of shy
embarrassment and discreet respect that was as difficult to receive as it
was to offer. The initial awkwardness settled into a rhythm, one that kept
their joined lives together while leaving Byers adrift in a way they had
not intended but could not remedy. Then, one day, a couple of years later,
Byers returned from a routine patrol Aboveground, flushed
They pleaded with him and, when his voice gave out, they broke down his door. As the hours and days progressed, Scully believed he would die. His fever refused to break, even when they doused him with their precious water, and his conscious moments were few. Finally, when chills racked his body and no amount of blankets could keep him warm, Langly carried him to their bed. They curled around him, knowing they might be embracing a dying man and their own deaths as well, but they willingly shared their heat and their hope with him.
He did not die, and neither did
they. The fever left him with strange, small gaps in his memory—faces
with no names, names with no faces—but they all knew it could have been
far worse. His humiliation at waking almost nude in between the lovers
eventually faded as he was persuaded of the earnestness of their
invitation to remain in the one spot where no drafts chilled the air and
sank into his bones. Not for the first time in Byers' life, the entire
world and its system of rules and certainties changed in the course of
When they touched her, a combination of urgent passion and gentle worship from men as different as night and day, life was real. The two did not touch each other, except in inadvertent moments while exploring Scully, but she expected that, too, would change over time. But even better than the lovemaking with one, or the other, or both, was the closeness of sleep sandwiched between the two men.
It wasn't love—at least, it wasn't the grand passion. Scully knew Byers had known the real thing, and continued to adore and mourn his mysterious Susanne Modeski in his heart of hearts. She knew Langly had never had such a relationship and believed he never would. She also knew she once had touched something in between, something neither grand nor invisible, but elusive and aching, and the dead man and his daughter would live in her forever.
It was comfort, and respect—respect for men she had failed to take seriously for far too long, for men who had risked their lives for her even as she had mocked them, for friends closer than brothers who had offered her sanctuary when her world ended one afternoon—and the truest compassion she had ever experienced. It was their one weapon against the cataclysm and the aliens and traitors who had caused it, against the death that had robbed them of loved ones and the years that were stealing their strength. It was the honesty of Langly's chest against her back, of Byers' chest beneath her cheek. Not the grand passion, but a viable strain of love nonetheless.
The dream was only a memory now. Langly's large hand had grown still on her shoulder, and Byers sighed softly beneath her. Their work could wait a few minutes longer, she decided. She drifted back to sleep, grateful for their warmth.
The End |